The Busy Executive
by Satina and Shannon
Date First Posted: 3/30/05Rating: NC-17 * Pairing: M/K
Archive Permissions: Freely given, but please use HTML format to preserve the IM quality.
Disclaimers: Mulder and Krycek are not my characters. They belong to Fox and Chris Carter.
Warnings: None.
Summary:
This takes place post-colonization, when Mulder has succeeded in saving the world, and in return for his service, has been elected President of the United States. Krycek is trying to find some peace on a deserted island. President Mulder tracks his cybering screen name down over the 'net and decides to use it to alleviate the boredom of his political life.
Feedback Welcomed HERE.
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Translations from: http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/russian.htm
potaskushka - slut
ooyobische - fucked up bastard
bozh moi - my god
da - yes
spasibo - thank you
pazhaluista - it's my pleasure
potselui mou zhopy - kiss my ass
zhopoliz - ass licker
zhopa - asshole
ebis' kon yom - get a horse to fuck you
otsosi, potom prosi - blow my cock, then make a wish
mudak - arrogant idiot/sick dumb asshole (One of the things Krycek calls Mulder in Tunguska at the airport in the car scene!)
juicyfrootstick: What are you wearing?
bahamasbuttboy: Jeans. No underwear. No shirt, no shoes, plenty of service. You?juicyfrootstick: Suit. Italian silk. Dark charcoal gray. Black socks and shoes.
bahamasbuttboy: Executive, huh? You not off the clock yet? At-the-office romp? I could go for some of that...
juicyfrootstick: Yeah, late night at the office. Just need to let off a little steam. Mind crawling under this desk, island boy?
bahamasbuttboy: No problem. What kind of cock am I gonna be taking here, Juice?
juicyfrootstick: Nine inches if you get it hard enough.
bahamasbuttboy: Ohyeah. I can get that beast up there. Want me to take the whole thing right away or tease you a little?
juicyfrootstick: Don't get drool on these pants. I've got a meeting in twenty minutes. Take it out. Slow.
bahamasbuttboy: Sure. Lemme just push your legs open a little more so I can slide in there... I'm gonna unzip and pull it out through the fly, okay?
juicyfrootstick: Yeah, jack me a little first, looking up from under those lashes.
bahamasbuttboy: Uh, okay... Pulling on your fattening dick, watching your face flush, getting it to grow long and hard and ready for my mouth...
juicyfrootstick: Don't use just one hand. I'm a little big for that. Beat me with both.
bahamasbuttboy: Okay... Wrapping you up in my fists and milking that towering piece until it turns rosy-purple and wants to get sucked.
juicyfrootstick: Grabbing you by the head to force your face down on it, but can't get a grip with that stupid-ass haircut.
juicyfrootstick: Well?
bahamasbuttboy: Who is this?
juicyfrootstick: C'mon, island boy, suck me.
bahamasbuttboy: Who is this.
juicyfrootstick: Just an overworked, underappreciated executive looking to fuck some cum down your throat. Open up, you little invertebrate scum sucker.
bahamasbuttboy: Goddamn it. Mulder! Get out of here, leave me alone!
juicyfrootstick: While you're down there, could you pick up that pen I dropped earlier? Thanks, Krycek.
bahamasbuttboy: Oh fuck you. I don't need this shit.
juicyfrootstick: Evidently you do. You were just about to go down on my nine-inch juicyfrootstick. Well? Let's get to it, island boy!
bahamasbuttboy: I am NOT your island boy. Mulder, last I checked, you were President of the damned United States. Well, I'm not in the States and whatever you want, I don't have to give it to you. Now get out! Go screw an intern!
juicyfrootstick: So you're givin' it up to everyone but me? Guess not much has changed, then...
bahamasbuttboy: Screw you, Mulder. I don't have to take your shit. I'm *out*. Go veto a bill and leave me alone. Good-bye!
bahamasbuttboy: ***This user is no longer online.***
Next day...
deaderthanewe: Hey, I saw your private forum. How dead do you have to be to join?
waypastdead40: Pretty damned dead. Are ewe?
deaderthanewe: Twice.
waypastdead40: That oughta work. You should really talk to James. He founded it and he's been on his way to pushin' up daisies over 10 times. Pretty cool guy. Got his email. Want it?
deaderthanewe: Sure. So...how dead are you?
waypastdead40: Re: James = deaddeaddead@reallydead.com Well, I totally died once. Got brought back. You really are deader than me, ewe.
deaderthanewe: Yeah, two times, brought back both. I beat you. ;-)
deaderthanewe: Hand down.
deaderthanewe: oops, hands.
waypastdead40: Who is this?
deaderthanewe: I thought this was a highly secretive, extremely discrete group. I was led to believe we wouldn't have to share indentifying information.
waypastdead40: Who is this.
deaderthanewe: Dead guy. Who beats you. So, gonna open up and let me in?
waypastdead40: You asshole.
deaderthanewe: Hey, you're the buttboy here.
waypastdead40: Mulder, get AWAY from me! Jesus!
deaderthanewe: I beat Jesus on the dead thing, too, you know. He came back once. I did it twice, Krycek. Twice. I'm going to be lodging a complaint with James if you don't let me into your little society of the very dead.
waypastdead40: I'll tell him to block you, dammit. You're not here except to fuck with me, God knows why! I'm out, I'm out, I'm OUT. Is this HELL or something??
deaderthanewe: No, I believe it's a little private island in the region of the Bahamas. Shall I name coordinates?
waypastdead40: Oh God. Mulder... You are the President of the United States. WHAT are you doing IMing ME?? It's OVER. I'm no threat to you or national security, so just leave me alone.
deaderthanewe: So, what do you people DO in this club for the passed-on, anyway? Necro-cyber?
waypastdead40: Very funny. What, you don't have enough to do running the country right after you won a planetary war? You don't have enough peons lining up to suck your dick?
waypastdead40: You are...the 'Hero' here. Just let me have my fucking SOLITUDE or is that too much to ask??
deaderthanewe: There's a surprising lack of actual cocksuckers around here, sadly. At least, any you'd want anywhere near your dick.
waypastdead40: Congress? Look, I don't know what you want, and I don't care. I just want my peace and quiet. Please go away.
deaderthanewe: You want your peace and quiet and to take it up the ass cyberly from strangers, you mean.
deaderthanewe: Oh and to hang out with people who are varying degrees of dead.
waypastdead40: What do you care, Mulder??? Is that a crime against the US in some way? Are you finally going to try to get me on some whacked out cyber-sodomy law you made up especially for me? Fuck you!
deaderthanewe: LOL...no, my appropriation of national resources is limited to getting a fix on your location and hacking into your computer. For now.
waypastdead40: You little fucker.
deaderthanewe: So. What are you wearing?
waypastdead40: Oh my God.
waypastdead40: What do you WANT? If I let you tell me, MIGHT you go away???
deaderthanewe: Crawl under this desk and suck it, island boy.
waypastdead40: You don't really want that.
deaderthanewe: The suit's navy today. Had a meeting with the Cabinet. Had to look...Presidential.
waypastdead40: What the FUCK are you doing, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: I'm bored.
waypastdead40: You're bored.
waypastdead40: As President of the United States you're bored.
deaderthanewe: Well yeah, wouldn't you be?
waypastdead40: I don't get you.
waypastdead40: Look. Scram, Mulder. I don't need your bullshit. Go bug the VP for head. If that's what you really want. Which it isn't anyway.
deaderthanewe: EWWW! Have you SEEN the VP???
waypastdead40: Cut the horsehsit. Why are you really here?
deaderthanewe: I'm BORED.
waypastdead40: So you hate me enough to mindfuck me all over the Internet until the day I die...again?
deaderthanewe: You were into it. Before it was me.
deaderthanewe: Still got your nine inches right here...
waypastdead40: You are so fucking full of it!
deaderthanewe: What, you don't believe me? C'mon, Krycek. I saw you checking me out that day at the pool.
waypastdead40: So...what? You slumming it, Mulder? That it? You're bored and you want to see if scum-sucking Krycek will suck *your* scum?
deaderthanewe: Basically.
deaderthanewe: So...get to it.
waypastdead40: No.
deaderthanewe: You're pressing your lips together, aren't you, in that pouty little frown with the wrinkle over your nose. Only now that you're not a kid anymore, there's probably more than one.
waypastdead40: Fuck you, Mulder. I am *not* playing your game.
deaderthanewe: You're not leaving, either. Smart. Things could get very unpleasant for you very fast if you make me work any harder.
waypastdead40: Is that a threat...Mulder?
deaderthanewe: More of an FYI, Krycek. I like a little resistance, though, because as I said, I'm bored. So you're all right. For now.
waypastdead40: All right. I get you loud and clear, you arrogant prick.
waypastdead40: ***This user is no longer online.***
waypastdead40: ***This user is now available.***
waypastdead40: All right you son of a bitch, call them off.
deaderthanewe: LOL! Well, hi, Krycek! Call who off?
waypastdead40: Fuck. You. These fucking island police all over my goddamned beach, Mulder!
deaderthanewe: Wow, that really sucks. Really fucks with that whole peace and quiet thing you were going for, I'll bet.
waypastdead40: FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!!!
waypastdead40: They're leaving. Was that you?
deaderthanewe: Like the hand of God.
waypastdead40: If you're so freaking powerful, Mulder, why the hell are you so damned BORED?
deaderthanewe: I dunno. Nobody fun to play with, I guess.
deaderthanewe: These people *never* laugh. Never. Like they never learned how. I mean, I thought fibbies were bad, but these guys...surgically implanted sticks up the ass.
deaderthanewe: Not juicyfrootsticks, either. Well, not that I know of. And certainly not MINE!!!
waypastdead40: I am not your PLAYTHING.
waypastdead40: I do NOT answer to you.
deaderthanewe: Yes you are.
deaderthanewe: Yes you do.
deaderthanewe: So. What are you wearing?
waypastdead40: Are you drunk, Mr. President? Is that what this is? A drunken trip to Krycekland? What every man with everything needs...a nice roll in the mud.
deaderthanewe: With a name like bahamasbuttboy, looks like you give it to all of 'em, too.
waypastdead40: *They* don't hate me. *They* don't KNOW me. And they sure as hell don't send the island POLICE TO MY FUCKING HOUSE WHEN THEY DON'T GET THEIR WAY!!!
deaderthanewe: What are you wearing, Krycek? Don't make me send the choppers and spycams...
waypastdead40: Fucking hell.
waypastdead40: Van Halen '1984' T-shirt with a margarita vomit stain down the front. Hammer pants. Urine yellow flip flops. And a Naked Lady Mudflap trucker hat with a tail.
deaderthanewe: Ffffffuckyeah. You know what I like, whore.
waypastdead40: You sick sick bastard.
deaderthanewe: LMAO!
waypastdead40: That did NOT just turn you on. You're in the Oval Office for God's sake! Have some decorum!
deaderthanewe: Being in the Oval Office keeps my dick from getting hard?
deaderthanewe: Well, actually, it pretty much does.
waypastdead40: Then why the FUCK did you think *I* would get it hard? Your flight from reality is astounding. And to think they let you run that country now.
deaderthanewe: Yeah, fucked up, isn't it?
waypastdead40: Why aren't you doing this to someone else? Why me, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: No one else deserves it.
waypastdead40: Is this because you think I tried to kill you?
deaderthanewe: No, this is because I'm bored.
waypastdead40: Well, why do I deserve it then? The wrath of your boredom.
deaderthanewe: You're the only one I can pick on without feeling guilty about it.
waypastdead40: Why all of a sudden? You didn't become critically bored until now?
deaderthanewe: Been busy.
waypastdead40: Yeah. You've got some fucked up world to put back together. How's it going, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: What, don't you read the papers in between anonymous assfucks?
waypastdead40: Nope.
deaderthanewe: Well, things are starting to settle down, actually. The exciting part's over with and now it's just meetings, meetings, meetings, committees, committees, committees, blah blah blah...
waypastdead40: So I'm your time out? Why don't you just...go bowling or something?!
deaderthanewe: I don't bowl.
waypastdead40: Shoot some stick. Visit Scully and Skinner and the twins. Take a vaction to exotic and still-intact Greenland...
deaderthanewe: Don't wanna.
waypastdead40: And you WANT to do THIS? Oh please. Give me a break, Mulder. You hate me. You're not having fun; you're stalling or something. I don't KNOW what, but it's NOT having FUN.
deaderthanewe: Feels fun.
waypastdead40: Pretending you'd get your dick anywhere NEAR my mouth? That feels fun for you? You're fucked in the head.
deaderthanewe: Probably.
waypastdead40: So you're in your oval office, navy suit nicely pressed, trying to stroke it to the tune of my cyber-voice?
deaderthanewe: No, actually, I gotta take a piss. Stay here. brb
waypastdead40: Fuck you.
deaderthanewe: Ahh yeah, that's better. You know they actually have a goddamned phone in my private bathroom? That is just way more reachable than I ever wanted to be.
waypastdead40: I don't give a fuck about your damn bathroom, Mulder.
deaderthanewe: I noticed you don't have a phone.
waypastdead40: Thank GOD I DON'T!!
deaderthanewe: Yeah, must be nice, to be so...LOL...unreachable.
waypastdead40: You went through so much of your life being called crazy but being completely sane. I guess it's no wonder the insanity sets in now, so late in life.
deaderthanewe: LOL...guess so.
waypastdead40: See? Laughing. AGREEING WITH ME. You're gone. I get it now. You wanna fuck me in my barfy Van Halen T because you're nuts.
deaderthanewe: Are you *really* in a vomit-stained T-shirt? Is that your idea of living la vida loca?
waypastdead40: What do you care? You're crazy.
deaderthanewe: LMAO!
deaderthanewe: Do you know that the President of the United States actually practically rules the world? That there are very few people on this planet who do not defer to me???
waypastdead40: I don't.
deaderthanewe: Yeah. Right.
waypastdead40: *That's* why you're here. You *want* that. I *am* the only one who won't defer to you and you *like* that. Don't you?
waypastdead40: Oh President Mulder? I didn't quite hear that. Could you please speak directly into the mic?
deaderthanewe: They don't even let me order my own pizza.
waypastdead40: Why the fuck not?
deaderthanewe: I've got aides to do everything for me. Damn pizza place wouldn't even believe it was me if I did figure a way past security.
waypastdead40: Is this where I sob for your loss? You're the President. You were sworn in. All you had to do to keep gettin' the Domino's was to just not swear, Mulder.
deaderthanewe: Yeah, well, we're not all slinking cowards, Krycek. Some of us put other people's needs ahead of our own.
waypastdead40: And then become incredibly bored because they're living a life of meetings, meetings, meetings, committees, committees, committees, blah, blah, blah. Don't bitch to me, it's your choice!
deaderthanewe: There's a guy outside my bedroom door. All the time. Day or night. Fortunately I have a HUGE bedroom, but...damn.
waypastdead40: Did they not highlight this in your contract? Are you devastated? Do you have to be real quiet when you come into the presidential hanky?
deaderthanewe: Not really. He'd send out for three hookers a night if I asked for it, without blinking an eye.
waypastdead40: So maybe *that's* why you're doing this... To get caught...get impeached or some shit. 'President Mulder Cyber-Fucks Mouth of Ex-Enemy Assassin.'
deaderthanewe: As if anyone would give a shit. Do you have any IDEA what they'd cover up for me??? Oh. Yeah, I guess in your previous line of work you probably do.
waypastdead40: If I had a web cam, you'd see which finger I'm holding up...
deaderthanewe: Is it the new one?
waypastdead40: You bet your crazy ass it was the new one.
deaderthanewe: Gettin' a lotta use outta that, I'll bet. Probably missed it pretty bad.
waypastdead40: Oh you wanna beat off to me beating it with one hand now?
deaderthanewe: Why do you keep bringing this around to sex, Krycek?
waypastdead40: Oh my GOD!!! Fucking....FUCK, Mulder!!!
deaderthanewe: LMAO!
waypastdead40: You FREAK!
deaderthanewe: So. Vomit stain, huh? How long's that been there?
waypastdead40: There's no damned vomit stain, Mulder, I was just trying to get you off my BACK.
deaderthanewe: I wasn't on your back. I was seated in a chair with you under my desk.
deaderthanewe: It's a huge fucking desk, too. Could probably fit three of you under there.
waypastdead40: So this is just about freedom then? Freedom from the man outside the bedroom door and no pizza? Freedom to do Alex Krycek, feel really fuckin' dirty for a little while before you go back to give the State of the Union?
deaderthanewe: If I did you, Krycek, I'd feel dirty for a lot longer than a little while.
waypastdead40: And that's what you want. To go speak in front of the whole country with your dick still tingling from me sucking it and my stain on your soul...and not one of them will know.
deaderthanewe: Yeah, so?
waypastdead40: I guess I just wanna know what I'm dealing with here.
deaderthanewe: The food's good, though.
waypastdead40: Huh?
deaderthanewe: Whatever I want, whenever I want, basically.
deaderthanewe: I made 'em get me fried eel the other day, just to see 'em do it. I hate fried eel.
waypastdead40: Why, Mulder. Why are you telling me this.
deaderthanewe: And chitlins. I always wondered what those were. Now I know. And man, don't go there.
waypastdead40: Are you lonely...Mulder?
deaderthanewe: How can I be? I have approximately five fucking hundred people whose workspace is my goddamned HOME!
waypastdead40: Doesn't mean you're not lonely. Just means you're never alone.
deaderthanewe: I have five people who analyze the gifts sent to me.
waypastdead40: Do they love you?
deaderthanewe: What in the holy FUCK are you talking about, Krycek???
waypastdead40: Do they at least know you? 'Cause I don't love you, but I sure as hell know you pretty well.
deaderthanewe: You really DON'T read the papers, do ya? Or watch TV. Everybody knows me, Krycek! I'm a household word!
deaderthanewe: I gotta take another piss. Stay here.
waypastdead40: Everybody knows *of* you. And they probably know stuff like that you buy up bags of sunflower seeds 10 at a time.
waypastdead40: Doesn't mean they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
waypastdead40: Not that I do. But you're hoping dirty will do.
deaderthanewe: Oh yeah? Well who makes YOU feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Krycek?
waypastdead40: This isn't about me, asshole. Don't deflect.
deaderthanewe: Oh it SO is. It's about whatever the fuck I want it to be about, Krycek. Do I need to pick up my royal phone and sic the MP's on you again?
waypastdead40: I don't *need* to feel warm and fuzzy. I'm heartless. :-I
deaderthanewe: Maybe I am, too.
waypastdead40: Oh bullshit.
deaderthanewe: Oh, so now you think I need to feel warm fuzzies???
waypastdead40: Maybe not warm fuzzies. It's probably not even about them and whether they'd suck your cock because they really wanted to or because they're bought with federal dollars...
waypastdead40: It's just about this: you don't belong there.
deaderthanewe: Hey, I didn't come on here for you to go all Oprah on my ass, Krycek.
deaderthanewe: What the fuck's happened to you out there on that island? Get too much damned sun or something?
waypastdead40: Yeah, must be it. Too tan. Too much lying around naked on the beach, sunning and drinking good beer.
deaderthanewe: Naked?
waypastdead40: Sure, why not. Hardly anybody around. Just me and the birds and the fishes.
deaderthanewe: Fucking prick.
waypastdead40: What really sucks about this place is allllll the damned VIEWS. Everywhere you look practically. I'm sick of all the bullshit clear water, beautiful sand, palm trees, flowers...
deaderthanewe: I have a private bar in both my office AND my bedroom.
waypastdead40: Yeah, well, my mahi mahi's about to burn on the grill. Hold on, Mulder. Don't sic the dogs 'cause I'll be right back with my steaming plate of fresh fish, veggie kabobs, and all that yummy beer...
deaderthanewe: Yeah, well, I'm sending Bernard out for some California sushi rolls, edamame and Corona with lime and salt.
waypastdead40: Fine.
deaderthanewe: You cook, Krycek?
waypastdead40: What's it to you?
deaderthanewe: Just curious, mudak.
waypastdead40: Got your Russian/English dictionary out, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: Oh, I looked that one up a long time ago, Krycek.
waypastdead40: So. Let's have it.
deaderthanewe: Potselui mou zhopy, Krycek.
waypastdead40: LOL! Good one, Mulder. But no.
deaderthanewe: Otsosi, potom prosi.
waypastdead40: Blow your COCK and make a WISH? Pfffff! Ebis' kon yom, Mulder.
waypastdead40: Mulder? Having trouble looking that one up are you?
deaderthanewe: Oh, Bernard will be right back, I assure you, zhopa.
waypastdead40: Asshole? That the best you can do? ;-)
deaderthanewe: Get a HORSE to fuck me??? Damn, you Russians have some fucked up swears, Krycek. And *you're* the buttboy here, not me, zhopoliz.
waypastdead40: Ass licker...now that's a little better, Mulder. This might actually turn out to be a little fun for me after all.
deaderthanewe: Why, you wanna lick my ass, Krycek?
waypastdead40: Nothing better to do after I finish my dinner. Don't have any dessert at all anyway...
deaderthanewe: Like I'd let your mouth anywhere near my pristine Presidential pucker.
waypastdead40: LMAO!
deaderthanewe: So do you get any actual ass out there on your beach, island boy? Or is it all cyberjerk sessions for you these days.
waypastdead40: Actual ass takes too much effort, Mulder. If it stumbles into my hut, I'll do it, but ya know... ::shrugs::
deaderthanewe: So...wild boars, stray dogs...all fair game?
waypastdead40: I don't get a lot of those in my hut. Probably no more than in your office there.
deaderthanewe: No wild boars but some of the staff here are only passably human...
waypastdead40: Anybody you'd consider getting some actual ass with there, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: There's one secretary that's always fluttering her lashes at me.
waypastdead40: But you won't do the deed. Will you?
deaderthanewe: What's it to you?
waypastdead40: Touche.
waypastdead40: Well, I guess what it is to me is whatever it is to you. Since you asked me first.
deaderthanewe: She's one of those social-climbing, perfectly-coifed ex-debutante types who's got her eye on the vacant First Lady chair.
waypastdead40: Then you should nail 'er and then fire 'er. That'll teach her.
deaderthanewe: LOL!
waypastdead40: Does anybody there know you're getting drunk and IMing?
deaderthanewe: I never said I was getting drunk.
waypastdead40: But you so are.
deaderthanewe: You think you know me well enough to know that, Krycek?
waypastdead40: ::shrug:: Are you?
deaderthanewe: As long as I'm on time to my meetings, no one cares if I have a few to relax in the evenings.
waypastdead40: How many is a few, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: Potselui mou zhopy, Krycek.
waypastdead40: Kiss my ass again? Does that mean I've hurt the Presidential feelings?
deaderthanewe: It means it's none of your fucking business, Krycek.
waypastdead40: Well, that's a big fat YES.
deaderthanewe: You don't know me.
waypastdead40: I don't?
deaderthanewe: No.
waypastdead40: I know you get super hostile when you're hurt. When you're actually just pissed at me, you grin like you get to go to Disney World.
deaderthanewe: Fuck you.
waypastdead40: Relax, Mulder. I don't care if you've had a couple beers or a fifth of Scotch or a liter of vodka. I really, really don't. Why the fuck would I? If I had your job? Alcohol poisoning.
deaderthanewe: And faking your own death is kinda whacked when you've already died twice.
waypastdead40: That bad?
deaderthanewe: I'm not here to make your day by telling you how miserable I am, so stop playing Dr. Phil, Krycek.
waypastdead40: I hate it here.
deaderthanewe: What?
waypastdead40: What are you blind? I said I HATE IT HERE.
deaderthanewe: You hate paradise?
waypastdead40: What's paradise? It's a place that makes people happy, that's what. This is a big, steaming lump of hell.
deaderthanewe: LOL...don't quit your day job to become a travel agent, Krycek.
waypastdead40: I wasn't fixing mahi mahi. I'm allergic. To all fish. And shellfish. And crustaceans. I had Pop Tarts for dinner.
deaderthanewe: Allergic to all fish? You really didn't make a very bright choice as far as retirement goes, did you, planting yourself on an island? And Krycek, crustaceans ARE shellfish.
waypastdead40: I didn't KNOW I was allergic to ALL FISH when I moved here you asshole! And screw you about the damned crustaceans!
deaderthanewe: I had Campbell's chicken noodle soup. Nuked up in my private office microwave.
waypastdead40: No sushi?
deaderthanewe: No.
waypastdead40: Well, shit.
waypastdead40: We suck.
deaderthanewe: LOL! At living the good life? Yeah, guess we do.
waypastdead40: You still want some head?
deaderthanewe: Maybe later.
waypastdead40: All right.
waypastdead40: Why did you try so hard to find me? Or...why did you follow me? Once I blocked you from bahamasbuttboy?
deaderthanewe: I was bored.
waypastdead40: What are you gonna do once you get what you came for?
deaderthanewe: I dunno.
deaderthanewe: Maybe...
deaderthanewe: Come back for more.
waypastdead40: I like your screen name. I liked them both.
deaderthanewe: Spasibo. Like yours, too.
waypastdead40: Spasibo, Mulder.
waypastdead40: Why don't you scoot on down here.
deaderthanewe: Down there? You're the one on the floor under my desk, Krycek.
waypastdead40: Just relax. Lean back.
waypastdead40: You leaned back?
deaderthanewe: What are you wearing?
waypastdead40: Black jeans. White T-shirt. Bare feet.
deaderthanewe: Vomit stain?
waypastdead40: No, Mulder.
deaderthanewe: Van Halen?
waypastdead40: Shut up, Mulder. I'm stroking your cock through your slacks.
deaderthanewe: Wait.deaderthanewe: Why are you doing this?
deaderthanewe: I don't want a pity fuck.
waypastdead40: Not pity.
waypastdead40: I want this.
deaderthanewe: But it's me.
deaderthanewe: Not some anonymous stranger.
deaderthanewe: Krycek, it's ME.
waypastdead40: I'm going to ease the zipper down now. On your pants, *Mulder*.
deaderthanewe: You really do hate it in the Bahamas?waypastdead40: Yes. I wasn't meant for this place.
deaderthanewe: I suck at this.
deaderthanewe: Every single day I'm so insanely frustrated and bored I actually picture myself pulling out a gun and shooting people at random.
deaderthanewe: Don't worry, they don't let me carry my own gun anymore.
waypastdead40: Well, none of them are here right now. It's just me. On my knees. Taking your naked cock in my hand and stroking.
deaderthanewe: Looking up from under your lashes.
waypastdead40: Yeah. Licking my lips.
deaderthanewe: You're probably letting your hair grow out, huh.
waypastdead40: Yes. It's longer now. A little. You can touch it. Grab it.
deaderthanewe: What do you do when I put my hand in your hair?
waypastdead40: I groan and start to lower my open mouth.
deaderthanewe: Is your hair hot from the island sun, with a little bit of sand in it from lying on the beach, naked?
waypastdead40: I wish...
waypastdead40: It's clean. Dry. No sand. I don't really go out much.
deaderthanewe: Why not?
waypastdead40: I burn. :-\
deaderthanewe: You should try Vancouver, Canada or somewhere like that. The sun never shines there.
deaderthanewe: And you'd still be out of my jurisdiction. ;-)
waypastdead40: Mulder. Are we cybering or not? Vancouver, Canada just doesn't get me hot. You're messing with the fantasy.
deaderthanewe: Sorry.
waypastdead40: I'm going to lower my mouth down onto you now and suck on the head of your cock...waypastdead40: Do you like that, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: yes
deaderthanewe: I mean...
deaderthanewe: I'm pretty damned sure I would...
deaderthanewe: Krycek, what are you really wearing?
waypastdead40: I told you. White t-shirt and black jeans. Want me to take them off?
deaderthanewe: No.
deaderthanewe: I mean...shit.
waypastdead40: No? What's going on, Mulder?
deaderthanewe: It's not that I'm not attracted to you.
deaderthanewe: And your cyber-voice is hot, don't get me wrong.
waypastdead40: But?
deaderthanewe: I don't know.
deaderthanewe: I guess maybe...I've had enough of your fantasies.
waypastdead40: You started this.
deaderthanewe: I know.
waypastdead40: So it was your fantasy, too.
deaderthanewe: I know.
deaderthanewe: What happens when you eat fish?
waypastdead40: *That's* what gets you off??
deaderthanewe: LOL!
deaderthanewe: Maybe.
waypastdead40: Figures.
waypastdead40: All right.
waypastdead40: My eyes swell shut, but not before I see my ears turn red and double in size.
deaderthanewe: LOL...so you're saying they're actually normal-sized, then.
waypastdead40: Fuck you, Mulder.
deaderthanewe: All fish?
waypastdead40: I think so. Maybe just the tropical ones.
deaderthanewe: Maybe there's a contaminant in the water around your island that affects all the fish there.
waypastdead40: Sounds like an x-file.
waypastdead40: Think you should check it out?
deaderthanewe: LOL...damn. The good ol' days of 302's and shitty motels.
deaderthanewe: So you just spend your days watching soap operas and eating Pop Tarts, then?
waypastdead40: Who said anything about soap operas?
deaderthanewe: Surveillance, Krycek.
waypastdead40: Prick.
deaderthanewe: Don't you mean juicyfrootstick?
deaderthanewe: Hey, I've got a meeting to get to.
waypastdead40: Now?
deaderthanewe: Yeah.
deaderthanewe: But I was wondering, if I email James, aka deaddeaddead@reallydead.com about joining the group, if maybe you'd put in a good word for me.
waypastdead40: I'll see what I can do, Mulder.
deaderthanewe: Spasibo.
deaderthanewe: Gotta go.
waypastdead40: When are you done?
deaderthanewe: Never.
deaderthanewe: But next time I get some alone time (probably in the goddamned john) I'll see if you're on.
waypastdead40: If I see MPs on my beach, I'll know to sign in.
deaderthanewe: LOL...yeah, that works. See ya, Krycek.
waypastdead40: Don't I know it.
deaderthanewe: Heh.
deaderthanewe: ***This user is no longer online.***