SIMulation

by Satina and Shannon

Completed:  March 2, 2008

Pairing:  M/K

Rating:  R for language

Summary:  A few months after the events of The Red and The Black, Krycek decides to IM Mulder anonymously under the auspices of talking about the video game The Sims2.  

Spoilers:  Every Krycek episode up to The Red and The Black

NOTE:  If you haven't played The Sims, you probably won't understand a lot of this.  Sorry!

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NewKidInTown:  So I was wondering if you had a minute.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do I know you?

NewKidInTown:  No. I just saw one of your posts and thought I'd IM you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What post?

NewKidInTown:  Well, you really seemed to know your stuff.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What post?

NewKidInTown:  The dangleberries.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm no expert. I just knew the answer to that question.

NewKidInTown:  Well, I kind of didn't want to ask any of the others. I was a little intimidated. In other words, they all seem like assholes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I did notice some unwarranted hostility there myself.

NewKidInTown:  Especially over the trampoline! I mean, *I* didn't know that one of you has to just watch!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  So anyway, would you mind? A question, that is.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure, go ahead. Can't promise anything.

NewKidInTown:  Well, first of all... How do you kiss?

EarthboundMisfitI:  It comes up as an option after you socialize for awhile. You have to get to friend first, then you can hit on and kiss others. Friend is 40 points.

NewKidInTown:  Oh! I was trying too soon. I guess I'm fast.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Heh. Yeah, you gotta warm em up first.

NewKidInTown:  So how do *you* do it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  What do you mean? I told you.

NewKidInTown:  I keep telling jokes, but I *bomb*! Big time!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, it's a fine line.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have to talk first. Feel it out...never tell a joke before 10 points. I usually don't even try until after 13.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

NewKidInTown:  So what about compliment? I heard there's a compliment feature.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That comes up later, too.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have to warm them up first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey, how old are you?

NewKidInTown:  I'm not a kid. It's just a name. And an Eagles song.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So how old are you then?

NewKidInTown:  I'm twenty-nine. Why? How old are you?

EarthboundMisfitI:  When's your birthday?

NewKidInTown:  August.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The date, please.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The entire date.

NewKidInTown:  08/14/66

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sorry, I want to be sure I'm not talking to a child.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So, what are five other Eagles songs you like?

NewKidInTown:  Look. I'm a grown man. I bought this damned Simms game, and my Simm fell asleep on his lawn and then pissed himself before I figured out I had to build the guy a house. I'm just trying to get some tips for this thing so he doesn't do things like puke on his maid anymore!

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...it's Sim, not Simm.

NewKidInTown:  And to answer your question: Life in the Fastlane, Desperado, Hotel California, Tequila Sunrise, and Seven Bridges Road.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The so-called manual they enclose with the game these days doesn't tell you anything. If you don't know where to research online, I don't know how the hell you're supposed to play this game, honestly.

EarthboundMisfitI:  My Sims pissed themselves the first time, too.

NewKidInTown:  Well...

NewKidInTown:  That does make me feel better.

NewKidInTown:  So...

NewKidInTown:  Is your Sim a slut?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Aren't they all?

NewKidInTown:  Well, not the scientists it appears.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Why do you say that?

NewKidInTown:  Well, it looks like they don't profit from having that many friends or lovers, so it's best for them to stick to their work. Me, I've got an artist with a libido and a penchant for drawing naked pictures of himself.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you playing Story or Freeplay?

NewKidInTown:  What's story?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have a choice of playing Story type or Freeplay type games. Story gives you a set of needs and wants you have to fulfill for your Sim or Sims to advance in the game. Freeplay is when you just create a Sim or Sims and decide everything for them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  If you create a Sim that is Creative and Romantic...yeah, you have a lot of Socializing to do.

NewKidInTown:  I see...

NewKidInTown:  So, what do you have? Lawyer? Goat herder?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I didn't see it as an option, or I'd try it. I've tried several things. I have a lot of Sims. I switch between them a lot. I get bored easily.

NewKidInTown:  Oh hey, another question. Does your blender tend to burn the house down?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, not my blender. You must have too much stuff.

EarthboundMisfitI:  My bathroom rug caught the house on fire, actually.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then my shrub.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then my fruit punch barrel. But no, not my blender.

NewKidInTown:  You have a fruit punch barrel? Posh.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...it's very cool. It can keep your Sim from starving. They never have to eat again, just drink from the tap.

NewKidInTown:  Wow...

NewKidInTown:  And the propose option? When do you get that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have to Woohoo first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, actually...no, you just have to be lovers...which, oddly enough, you can be without Woohooing.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But I wouldn't advise it. You better Woohoo first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  At least once.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you supposed to propose?

NewKidInTown:  I don't know. How do I tell?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Look at your Sim's needs and wants to see what you're supposed to be working toward.

EarthboundMisfitI:  In Freeplay, they're all optional, but completing them opens up new things in the game.

NewKidInTown:  So if I want to propose, I need to make a good friend, get them to 40, and then put the moves on?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, hit on them first...if they're receptive, alternate talking and other moves, such as charming, checking them out, and especially telling dirty jokes. That will get you to the point where you can take them to bed, then after you do that a few times, propose will be an option.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But don't push too fast...lots of talking...a move here and there...don't be discouraged if there's a lot of backsliding...it takes time and finesse.

NewKidInTown:  Backsliding, huh?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah, I get slapped a lot.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Slapped? I don't get slapped, but I get pushed off.

NewKidInTown:  So you're saying that, even after I get slapped, I should just ease back in and try some more? Just take it slow?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't know if you've noticed, but your friendship points decrease if you don't have contact. Well, fortunately, so do your enemy points, if you have them. If you go to -20 points, you'll be an enemy, but if you just leave them alone, and try again later, the points go back up so you can try being friends again.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Have you made yourself enemies yet? It's kind of fun.

NewKidInTown:  Oh yeah?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Once you're an enemy, you get other options, like 'grovel', 'apologize', or 'give a daisy' to try and make peace.

NewKidInTown:  I see...

EarthboundMisfitI:  My Sim tried that and the other one took out a pair of scissors and cut the bloom off and laughed evilly.

NewKidInTown:  Would you recommend grovel?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I haven't tried that one.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But yeah, that's what I'll probably try next.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or just apologize.

NewKidInTown:  So you've got an enemy but he doesn't hit you?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah, he hit me...but only when I hit him first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I had to make him my enemy for the game. So I slapped him over and over. But he slapped me back, and his dead fish was bigger.

NewKidInTown:  Interesting.

NewKidInTown:  So you hit him more but his fish was bigger.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, he hit me back every time, but I initiated it. And yes, his fish was always bigger.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I had to keep hitting him though to make him my enemy, so I could advance in the game.

NewKidInTown:  So if you just hit someone, say, a couple times, enough to hurt them and piss them off, but you don't keep hitting them, they'll eventually warm up to you again? Could you theoretically be friends with that person eventually? Lovers?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep.

NewKidInTown:  Huh.

NewKidInTown:  Very interesting.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, I overdid it the first time. It said make him an enemy, and I wasn't sure how much I had to do, so I hit him and threatened him until he was down to -40! Instead of enemy, it said 'arch-enemy'. but I still got credit.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then, after I left him alone for a little while, I checked in with him again...because I wanted to make peace, now that it wasn't part of the game to be enemies...that's when I tried the flower...anyway, he was only at a -8! Barely enemies at all, really.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But he snipped my flower. No dice.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe he needed an apology first, huh.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, I had no idea what I was doing.

NewKidInTown:  It's hard. To know what to do.

NewKidInTown:  A lot of the time, I feel like I'm really flying by the seat of my pants. And then before I know it, I have to pee too bad to make it to the bathroom and the house is on fire.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yeah...

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's a very intuitive game, really. Realistic in many ways. But yeah, I keep buying too much and setting the house on fire. I don't piss myself anymore, though. I've puked a few times, though.

NewKidInTown:  Llama?

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...no, cheese and fruit.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Don't do it man.

EarthboundMisfitI:  although...it may have gotten me my promotion...I'm still not sure about that...

NewKidInTown:  Huh.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I puked on the way out the door to work, but then came home with a promotion and higher stats.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!!!

NewKidInTown:  Whatever does it.

NewKidInTown:  Except I think that's my problem...

NewKidInTown:  I'm juggling all of these wants and fears...all these interests. Sometimes I don't know if I'm getting anywhere. At least not anywhere good.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I was just going to tell you, you kind of have to get into the Sims' heads. Care about them. Not pay as much attention to the Directives that come down, telling you what they want...but just intuitively create a life for them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Of course, some people do all kinds of sick things to and with their Sims.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not into that.

NewKidInTown:  I haven't tried sick stuff. I just seem to get in messed up situations. I slapped a good friend the other day. I didn't even mean to. I just was in a rush and hit the wrong button. I had been about to give a compliment I think.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yeah, I've been there.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That'll set you back a bit.

NewKidInTown:  Set you back... Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Problem is, I have a romantic Sim, I think. I think he wants more than he's getting. I'm just not sure how to take him there.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, they need multiple lovers. It's hard enough to get just one!

EarthboundMisfitI:  And then you have to keep them. If you neglect them, those points fade, too...and before you know it, you're just friends again.

NewKidInTown:  What if I don't want multiple lovers? What if I just want the one?

EarthboundMisfitI:  That's fine. Like I said, in Freeplay, all the Wants are optional, just suggestions on how to play.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's a lot easier to get one lover, then just maintain them.

NewKidInTown:  Maintain them, huh? Is that possible when I can hardly make it through Sim life maintaining my own Sim?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, probably not.

EarthboundMisfitI:  but it's good practice to try.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Just pick one Sim to focus on as your potential lover, and when you get leisure time and your own needs are met, just take it slow.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Practice everything with that one Sim. Friendship, flirting, being lovers, and eventually, marriage. In Freeplay, you don't have to maintain a bunch of other relationships.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And if you slap them, give them a little time and then just start with talking until you get them up there again.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh, and there are special foods you can give them that are aphrodisiacs...

NewKidInTown:  Really.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But the effect doesn't last, and the relationships don't either.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But yeah, you can get them into bed that way, if you have an urgent need.

NewKidInTown:  An *urgent* need??

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, if you're playing Story mode, and you HAVE to get a Sim into bed with you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It happens.

NewKidInTown:  Okay, but back to freeplay. What about the doorbell? And the phone?? I can't even pee! There's always somebody demanding my attention!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Again, you can just choose one Sim to socialize with and ignore the doorbell and phone except if it's them.

NewKidInTown:  Ignore the bell?

EarthboundMisfitI:  yep.

NewKidInTown:  I didn't even know I could do that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure. In Freeplay you can do anything you want, as long as you meet the Sims NEEDS. ALL other wants are optional, as long as you find SOME way to socialize with SOMEBODY.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Chatting online counts.

NewKidInTown:  Oh yeah?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep. It gets your needs met, but not your wants.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Your NEEDS are the things you have the bars for, that go into the red. Your WANTS are the suggestions that come up on the screen, or that you can look at by pressing Right Directional Button and the square.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Needs come first. Then, choose which wants you want to fulfill for yourself. Screw any others.

NewKidInTown:  Okay, but what about work? That's a need. I'm a nude model and work 10 PM to 3 AM. The Sim I'm interested in works days. How will we ever get together?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You need to get a promotion to get better hours.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or get in another line of work.

NewKidInTown:  Another line of work?

NewKidInTown:  You can just switch?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, you can change at any time.

NewKidInTown:  I thought it was fixed.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, not at all.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And if your stats are high, and you were in a higher level in one field, you can transfer that experience to another so you don't start at the ground level, even.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Of course, if you're a nude model...you haven't learned much yet.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But you can still start another job, and anything pays better than nude modeling.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Even ground floor.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah, ground floor shit-shoveling in the pacaderm exhibit at the zoo.

EarthboundMisfitI:  There are several options, and as long as you focus on learning on your off-time, you can move up quickly.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's interesting. I've figured out that certain Sims WANT certain careers, and you can tell by what they tend to talk about. I had a Sim in a creative career field, but all he talked about was politics! So I switched him.

NewKidInTown:  Mine talks X-rays day and night!

NewKidInTown:  Aw, shit, I don't wanna be some wall-flower, asexual scientist!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, that was it, science! He wanted to go into science. I didn't know what I was doing though. I think he wanted medicine, but I ended up making him a pyro instead.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Doesn't matter what career you're in, you can Woohoo as many Sims as you want in your offhours.

NewKidInTown:  I just want the one.

EarthboundMisfitI:  All right then, you can Woohoo with THAT Sim as many times as you want (and THEY want, of course) in your off hours.

NewKidInTown:  How many Sims does yours do?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I told you, I have lots of Sims with lots of lives.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I usually just focus on one per Sim, though.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I can't imagine maintaining more than that.

NewKidInTown:  I have a hard enough time maintaining my bladder.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's harder in Story mode, too. The game fights what you want. The Sims are more reluctant.

NewKidInTown:  Reluctant? Like, to have sex? I mean Woohoo.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or play foosball, if that's a want.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Which it is.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Damn it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I have to play foosball with my enemy. I have to beat him.

NewKidInTown:  What happens then?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess he respects me enough to tell me the secret location of the next house.

EarthboundMisfitI:  He keeps wiping the floor with me, though. :-/

EarthboundMisfitI:  Real prick about it, too.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe you should throw him off guard first. You know, do something unexpected.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I've decided to make him my friend, first. Or at least, my acquaintance, so we're not enemies. Then maybe...

EarthboundMisfitI:  I hear him crying at night...so I kind of want to stop that, anyway.

NewKidInTown:  He...cries?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah. It sucks.

EarthboundMisfitI:  When he's not around others, fighting with them, he's crying secretly, and you can hear him.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So yeah, that's why I offered him the daisy.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I think since I did what I was told, and made him my enemy, that now I can make him my friend without giving up what I gained.

NewKidInTown:  Do you think he can be a friend? After having been such a prick for so long?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, he's designed to be a prick, but he's friends with another of my Sims...

EarthboundMisfitI:  I mean, I won't Confide in him...probably won't offer to Crack his Back or anything...but I would think that if he finally accepts my apology that we can at least talk sometimes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I think he's designed to be untrustworthy, so as a friend, you have to be careful. But like I said, another of my Sims is friends with him just fine.

NewKidInTown:  Except he still cries at night.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well yeah...because of me...at least I think so. Maybe he cries whether I'm his enemy or not, I don't know. I became his enemy almost as soon as I met him.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I had to.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It was a mandatory goal.

NewKidInTown:  I'd like to know...if you don't mind chatting again some time...how things work out with him. If you make up with him. And if that stops his crying. If you don't mind.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I guess I can put you on my buddy list and grab you after I get it worked out, if I see you...

NewKidInTown:  Sure. Sounds good.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You could just try it yourself.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Not everyone will cry, though. It's just that one character in the Story mode.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The others will just glare and posture with you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh, I gave him a wedgie, too.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then he gave me one...and ended up holding my underwear. OW.

NewKidInTown:  LMAO!

NewKidInTown:  And what is posturing exactly?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Acting hostile...getting in your face, kinda...acting like they wanna fight...

EarthboundMisfitI:  and thinking enemy thoughts whenever they see you, of course.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. The friend I hit does that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah. Give him/her a little time, then see what your options are.

NewKidInTown:  Thanks for the advice. I might just do that.

NewKidInTown:  I need to get to bed. I appreciate the IM. Would you mind if I put you on my buddy list, too? You know, in case I over-prune my bonzai or something?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh you will. It's a given. Sure, that would be fine.

NewKidInTown:  Thanks. See you around.

NewKidInTown: signed off at 2:10:53 AM.

NewKidInTown: is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

---

The next weekend...

NewKidInTown:  You beat that guy at foosball yet?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, haven't been playing much.

NewKidInTown:  Work get in the way?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, busy week.

NewKidInTown:  So why aren't you sleeping?

NewKidInTown:  Sorry. Too personal?

EarthboundMisfitI:  How do you know what timezone I'm in?

NewKidInTown:  Oh, I didn't think of that. I guess they say us east coast people are kind of self-centered. You could be in Belgium for all I know!

NewKidInTown:  Well, anyway, it's late where I am.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you're the one not sleeping, then.

NewKidInTown:  Just not sleepy I guess. Felt like playing. But I'm still stumped on a few things.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's late here, too.

NewKidInTown:  Do you mind if I ask a question? About the game?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, go ahead.

NewKidInTown:  So... If you start a story game, you could get a guy or a chick, right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, you choose your main character, but then when you get to the second location, you're given control over another one that you don't choose, and yeah, it's a chick.

NewKidInTown:  It's always a chick?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, actually, I don't know. Maybe it's a chick if your main character is a chick.

NewKidInTown:  Okay, so, when you're going along and it's time to get serious, you're essentially going to be hitting on a guy. Right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, yes, it can turn out that way.

NewKidInTown:  I see...

EarthboundMisfitI:  But it just says hit on somebody, it doesn't say who, then whoever you hit on, it tells you to fall in love with.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The green wants change according to your actions. The gold and platinum wants are fixed. Hitting on someone is a green want, as is falling in love with them.

NewKidInTown:  So, you can pick who you hit on?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  As far as I've gone you can, anyway, but once you do, the game directs you what else to do with them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Although I found you can get it to change that, too...

NewKidInTown:  So if the guy they want you to hit on is a dweeb, you can make your chick hit on another chick, say?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep.

NewKidInTown:  So, you done that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  How'd it work out?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, they don't get along real well.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So I used some aphrodisiacs to get her into bed with my girl Sim.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But they wouldn't Woohoo and it wore off and now they're not even lovers, just friends. I'm still working on it...

NewKidInTown:  So...

NewKidInTown:  Do you think it works the other way, too?

NewKidInTown:  You know, two guys?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure.

EarthboundMisfitI:  In Freeplay, you can do anything. And the characters are less reluctant, like I said before, because the game's not trying to give you a challenge.

NewKidInTown:  Less reluctant, huh.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You haven't tried it?

NewKidInTown:  So far, I've just been trying to have a good relationship with my toilet.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...how's that going?

NewKidInTown:  Pretty good, actually!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Learning to have better priorities?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe. We'll see.

NewKidInTown:  So, if I go in freeplay, my character can have Woohoo with whoever he wants?

NewKidInTown:  Or she?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, basically. The other Sims seem to have predestined personalities, so some get along better than others, but yes, you can have gay Sims of both sexes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or bi.

NewKidInTown:  Well, yeah, there are those Sims who feel this urge to have multiple sex partners. I'd guess it'd sure be easier just to make them bi. You know. So they can still have time to eat and piss.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Totally.

NewKidInTown:  I mean, whoever comes over, just...do them, right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, try everybody...see who's receptive.

NewKidInTown:  Is that what you do?

EarthboundMisfitI:  When I play that kind of Sim, yeah.

NewKidInTown:  That kind of Sim? You mean the 'romantic' ones?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep.

NewKidInTown:  Are you in story or freeplay right now? I mean, I know you said you haven't played in a while, but...

EarthboundMisfitI:  but...?

NewKidInTown:  Which one were you in?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Most recently?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I played four different games, so I did both kinds.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like I said, I get bored and switch a lot.

NewKidInTown:  Seems practical.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I have five families created, so I can play in any of them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  four freeplay, one story

NewKidInTown:  Wow. And you said you weren't an expert.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not. It's not that big a deal.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So I take it you've just played the one?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. For now.

NewKidInTown:  I just have the artist, nude model, romantic trying not to piss his ripped jeans.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Living alone?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sims get lonely, you know.

NewKidInTown:  No, he's got a roommate.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But the nude model artist is your favorite.

NewKidInTown:  The other guy's pretty cool. But I'm trying to learn my character.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, I started with just one, too.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The one who pissed himself.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  I kept running along the sidewalk (no house built), trying to talk to people to see if they'd offer to let me use their toilet!

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...me, too.

NewKidInTown:  Seemed logical.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Seemed the only option!

NewKidInTown:  So was that freeplay? Did you have a roommate out there on the lawn, too?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, just a lonely Sim.

NewKidInTown:  Guy? Or chick?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Guy

NewKidInTown:  Did you get him a roommate?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I couldn't. Once you create the family, I don't know how to add to it. Maybe if you marry someone, they'll stay...

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'd hope so!

NewKidInTown:  So that guy hasn't hooked up yet?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, he hasn't married anyone.

NewKidInTown:  But he's Woohooed somebody.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  So he just had to wait until somebody receptive showed up on his doorstep?

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yep.

EarthboundMisfitI:  He can invite them, too.

NewKidInTown:  Did he?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah. He's lonely, like I said.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I feel bad, but like I said, once you've created a family...

NewKidInTown:  So you must be trying to woohoo somebody with him a lot, huh? You know, to alleviate his loneliness.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I've used him to learn on, so...

EarthboundMisfitI:  He's the one I try things with first. So he's done a lot.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

NewKidInTown:  What's his name?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Archer

NewKidInTown:  Archer??

EarthboundMisfitI:  What's wrong with Archer?

NewKidInTown:  Nothing. I guess.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I wasn't going for a porn name, you know.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah, but, it sounds kind of...

NewKidInTown:  Octogenarian.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I knew a guy named Archer in college.

NewKidInTown:  Did he wear a cardigan?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, he was a fun guy.

NewKidInTown:  Sorry.

NewKidInTown:  Didn't mean to dis your friend.

NewKidInTown:  Or the name.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's not like it's MY name or anything, so I really don't care.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What's YOUR Sim's name?

NewKidInTown:  Alex

EarthboundMisfitI:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  You think so?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure, it's okay.

NewKidInTown:  Thanks.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What's his roommate's name?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Guy or girl?

NewKidInTown:  Guy.

NewKidInTown:  His name's Justin.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds young. I can see why you don't like Archer.

NewKidInTown:  He's a potion tester.

NewKidInTown:  I don't like his line of work, though. Thinking of changing it. Got any suggestions?

EarthboundMisfitI:  What does he tend to talk about with others?

NewKidInTown:  Prison.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh. Well, that may mean he wants to be a criminal.

NewKidInTown:  Really.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's one of the career tracks available.

NewKidInTown:  What happens if you choose it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't know. I never have.

NewKidInTown:  Why not?

EarthboundMisfitI:  It just didn't appeal to me.

NewKidInTown:  Not curious to see what happens?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess I'm sort of curious, yes, but not enough to have tried it yet.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess it might introduce some different outcomes that could make the game more interesting.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Especially if his roommate's in law enforcement, another option.

NewKidInTown:  That's funny. That's just what I was thinking.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Gonna try it?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe. Want me to let you know if I do?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure, I'm curious.

NewKidInTown:  No problem.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you going to make his roommate go into law enforcement, too?

NewKidInTown:  Most definitely.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I'd think that would spark things up.

NewKidInTown:  Indeed.

NewKidInTown:  I wonder what would happen...

NewKidInTown:  Nevermind.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What?

NewKidInTown:  Well...

NewKidInTown:  If my roommates are seemingy diametrically opposed, such as criminal and law enforcement, could they still manage to be friends?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess it depends on their personalities, probably.

NewKidInTown:  That's a good point.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They could have a natural predisposed affinity between them that would override the career differences.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe.  Plus they may not know what the other does.

EarthboundMisfitI: And like I said, the Sims seem to have their own tendencies toward certain likes and dislikes. If they shared those, they would probably like each other no matter what.

NewKidInTown:  Hell, theoretically, they could want to fuck each other!

NewKidInTown:  I mean, woohoo.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, at least be easier to direct that way, yes.

NewKidInTown:  Theoretically.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, they would, definitely, if they shared the same likes. That's just the way the game works.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I really doubt it's going to recognize the real problems inherent in such a relationship.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It probably treats all careers the same.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But you'll have to tell me.

NewKidInTown:  Oh, I will.

NewKidInTown:  You sure you don't want to try it, too? See what your two do?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe, when I have time to play a game that involved again.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I mean, I don't know if I'll make them have sex or not, but I'm curious to see if they can be friends.

NewKidInTown:  But why not? I mean, wouldn't it be something if these two characters, law enforcer and criminal, wound up being...perfect for each other?

EarthboundMisfitI:  If you did it right, though, every time the law enforcer would talk about justice, the criminal would talk about 'not justice'.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Of course, that seems to build big points...I'm not sure why...so maybe it would lead to faster, more intimate relationships...

NewKidInTown:  Maybe it adds spice to the conversation.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess at least they're talking about the same subject, even if they have different views on it, rather than being on totally different wavelengths altogether.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like my business person and my artist. They just don't like each other.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe the law guy can redeem the criminal.

NewKidInTown:  Or maybe the criminal can get the law guy to bend the rules.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or maybe they can at least help the other see things from a different perspective.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe...

EarthboundMisfitI:  So Justin's going to be a criminal, and Alex is going into law enforcement?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe I'll kick Justin out. I think Alex needs someone a little tougher to take him on.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You can't change a family once created.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Plus, it sounds like Justin is a born criminal, if he talks about jail all the time. That's not tough enough for a nude model???

NewKidInTown:  Hey. He models nude, but he's no pansyass.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What does Alex talk about?

NewKidInTown:  X-rays. Like I said the other day.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Ah, that's right. So maybe you need to create a whole other family. Start from scratch. But give the one you want to be the criminal, the same characteristics you gave Justin this time. You'll probably have to experiment to find a character naturally predisposed to law enforcement, too, to make it real.

NewKidInTown:  Great. I'll do that. Thanks.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I actually have a Sim that talks Justice all the time, but I don't remember what attributes I gave her to make her that way. If I remember, next time I'm playing, I'll make a note of it.

NewKidInTown:  I'd appreciate it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  She's probably not very happy, either, because I sent her into politics. Not a good place to be if you're into justice.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  Good one.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You know, my business person Sim seems to talk about jail a lot...maybe she wants to be a criminal.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I just figured she had friends there. :-/

NewKidInTown:  Well, you have to ask yourself how she might have gotten those friends, man.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Good point.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you're going to try to get these guys to be lovers, just to see what happens?

NewKidInTown:  Sure.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What if they hate each other and it doesn't work?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess that's interesting, too, in its own way.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Especially if one is still always hitting on the other.

NewKidInTown:  I'll break out the mangostein fruity bread.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Just make sure you take the first opportunity to hit on him, right after he eats the bread. Otherwise, you miss your window and he shakes it off.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  I'll remember that.

NewKidInTown:  If he hits me, I'll just come back for more.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They don't hit, they just push you off.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Unless you hit them first.

NewKidInTown:  Well, the last thing I'm gonna want to do is hit this guy.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, I wouldn't recommend it, if you want to get him into bed.

NewKidInTown:  I do.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You'll probably have to build a good solid friendship first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Even with the fruity bread, it only takes ya so far. You can't get them into bed that way, you can only get them to make out with you and add points.

NewKidInTown:  Friendship, huh?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Well, maybe so long as I'm not picking *his* pocket. Do you think?

EarthboundMisfitI:  That's probably the way the game works.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or maybe his friends' pockets.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That might piss him off.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I've fought a burglar once.

NewKidInTown:  Oh yeah?

NewKidInTown:  How'd that go?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, he was breaking into my house, and when I approached him, the only option given was Catch Thief.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So I clicked on that, and they started fighting.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then the thief broke away, but didn't run too far, so I clicked on it again, and they fought again.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But I saw a cop, so I stopped fighting him.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And he got away.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The object is to keep fighting, I guess, until you get him.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The cop is useless.

NewKidInTown:  Good to know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, wish I'd known.

EarthboundMisfitI:  He took my damned bathtub!

NewKidInTown:  It was my wallpaper. ???

EarthboundMisfitI:  I wouldn't think those things would be all that easy to fence.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or, in my case, carry.

NewKidInTown:  Most people hate to take their *own* wallpaper down, much less steal somebody else's off their wall! I mean, that had to take all DAY!

EarthboundMisfitI:  LMAO!

EarthboundMisfitI:  That's dedication, all right.

NewKidInTown:  Well, same with your tub!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah...although it was a damned fine tub...

NewKidInTown:  Japanese soaking tub?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, how'd you know?

NewKidInTown:  I didn't. I just upgraded from my clawfoot to one of those. Man, that's too bad.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah. And then my bathroom rug caught fire.

NewKidInTown:  Aw shit!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, and no matter what I do in that bathroom, the Sims hate it in there.

NewKidInTown:  Got repairs?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And fancy wallpaper, floors, windows, and of course...the rug...

EarthboundMisfitI:  I even bought a fancy toilet and sink.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They hate it.

NewKidInTown:  Too many windows?

NewKidInTown:  They don't like being watched on the jon.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah...that may be it...I put in MORE because I thought maybe they were claustrophobic.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'll take 'em all out and let you know.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do yours hate your bathroom?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess you probably haven't noticed, since you've barely been making it in there to even use it.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah, I assumed that stat was low because he's always in a panic in that part of the house. :-/

EarthboundMisfitI:  LMAO!

NewKidInTown:  But I'll try to check it out while he's just singing in the shower or something.

NewKidInTown:  Are you really laughing over there?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, I scared my fish.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They scattered.

NewKidInTown:  Oh, speaking of, I heard you're supposed to harvest your own fishtank! I just can't do that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, me neither.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm about ready to sell my stove and fridge and just suck on the fruit punch barrel tap from now on.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

EarthboundMisfitI:  I mean, eating's just such a pain in the ass.

NewKidInTown:  I tend to make slurries.

NewKidInTown:  When my blender isn't burning the house down.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Ech.

NewKidInTown:  I stay alive.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, but you might puke, dude.

NewKidInTown:  So far, so good.

NewKidInTown:  I mean, I puked on the maid, but that was llama.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, anything with llama is to be avoided, unless you're *trying* to gross someone out.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Which is a want in the story mode, by the way.

NewKidInTown:  Ugh.

NewKidInTown:  I'll stick with my illicit, illegal, queer freeplay, thanks.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, sometimes I want the structure of someone telling me what to do, and other times, I want to be the one in total control.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. Me, too.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you might like Story play, then.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The challenge of following directives.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe...

EarthboundMisfitI:  You can still be queer, you know.

NewKidInTown:  With a more reluctant partner?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, possibly.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You might have to try a few, to find a willing one.

NewKidInTown:  So how about you? Got any 'reluctant' woohoo partners?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I already told you I did.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Remember...my chicks who won't get it on.

NewKidInTown:  Oh yeah. Right.

NewKidInTown:  But do you have any guys? I mean, have you tried it with guys?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  Did it work out pretty good?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Some do, some don't.

NewKidInTown:  So you've tried it more than once?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Archer's tried to nail all his friends at least once.

NewKidInTown:  He has, huh?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  You ever try it with your freeplay characters?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Archer is freeplay.

NewKidInTown:  Oh.

NewKidInTown:  That's right. He's your first.

NewKidInTown:  And how do you know which Sims will go for it and what Archer really wants unless you try, right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Right.

NewKidInTown:  So do you think he's bi?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  So he doesn't have any roommates. Have any of his friends taken him up on it and stayed over?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Stayed over?

NewKidInTown:  Woohooed and then slept over. Do they do that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, they just do it, maybe chat a little, then get up and leave.

NewKidInTown:  Eat your food, use your computer...

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yep.

NewKidInTown:  So it's casual.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess you could say that, yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like I said, no one's been proposed to.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So they're just lovers.

NewKidInTown:  Sounds more like fuck buddies. If they just come over, have woohoo, invade your fridge and leave.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yeah, I guess so.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But they have 'loving' thoughts whenever they see me.

NewKidInTown:  How can you tell?

EarthboundMisfitI:  The little balloons over their heads have hearts in them.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

NewKidInTown:  But they still won't stay over.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Nope.

NewKidInTown:  So Archer's going to have to propose to one of them?

EarthboundMisfitI:  If he wants them to stay over.

NewKidInTown:  Does he?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't know...he's an independent kinda guy, now.

NewKidInTown:  Well, does he like having a stable of fuck buddies? Or do you think he's got a...preference?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, he gets along with some better than others...some are 'easier' than others...I haven't noticed ONE standing out above the others, though.

NewKidInTown:  Hmm.

NewKidInTown:  Are the easy ones the same ones he gets along with? Or are there easy ones that he *doesn't* get along with so well?

EarthboundMisfitI:  They're the friendly ones.

NewKidInTown:  Hmm.

EarthboundMisfitI:  With Archer, the point is just to see how many he can get into bed. He doesn't really have relationships for any other reason.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't play him a lot anymore. Just when I'm feeling anti-social, I guess. I have others who are building actual relationships.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Archer is also the one who tries to use as many new appliances as he can to see if the house will catch fire.

NewKidInTown:  So he's experimental.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Very.

NewKidInTown:  Well...

NewKidInTown:  Speaking of experimental. I guess I'm wondering if it's possible to, say, slap someone and then turn around and have woohoo in the next breath.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds like fun.

NewKidInTown:  I thought so.

EarthboundMisfitI:  If you have your points up high enough, it could work...

NewKidInTown:  Maybe, if woohoo is too much, you could slap them and then just kiss them right after.

NewKidInTown:  Or kiss someone after they've slapped you...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, if you slap them they WILL slap you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Harder.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But after that...yeah, my guess is, if your points are high enough, you probably could kiss them.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then rush to the bed, relax, call them over and try to get in their pants.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  Nice.

NewKidInTown:  So I'm just about ready to try out my criminal/law enforcement idea.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you going to do the slapping to them, too?

NewKidInTown:  I guess if I get their points high enough.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, you'd better get them really *tight* before you try something like that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  100 points, definitely.

NewKidInTown:  100?? Really? Won't they be married by then?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Not unless one of them proposes. It doesn't happen automatically.

NewKidInTown:  So they can just be hot and heavy lovers who happen to smack each other around?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess so, if that's what you like.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It looks like maybe you can unlock some leather fetish-looking clothing in the wardrobe later, but I haven't gotten it, yet.

NewKidInTown:  Wow.

NewKidInTown:  Say, how do you get rid of the pixels?

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...on the ps2, you don't.

NewKidInTown:  Damn.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  You, too, huh?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure, why not?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Need the PC version for that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Your Sim can play with other people's Sims too, that way.

NewKidInTown:  Huh.

NewKidInTown:  Like my Sim could come eat fruity bread at your Sim's house?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Theoretically, yes.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You wouldn't want to hang out with Archer, though. He'll give you llama just to watch the fun. He's been dead a few times...

NewKidInTown:  Dead?? They can die? I thought they just hurled!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Nope, they can die.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They become ghosts.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then you can haunt others.

NewKidInTown:  Wow. Cool!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  I didn't know the Sims went paranormal. Well, I guess I'd heard about the space ships, but...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, they get abducted by aliens. In the PC version, both guys and girls get pregnant from it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But not in the ps2 version. They just get returned a little bit later and throw up a lot.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sorry, didn't mean to spoil that for you.

NewKidInTown:  What do you have to do to get abducted?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have to buy the more expensive telescope, then use it at night for a little while. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and I don't know what makes the difference.

NewKidInTown:  Have you done it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, Archer's done it.

NewKidInTown:  Well, Archer's done everything.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Exactly. It's his reason for existing.

NewKidInTown:  So it's basically the same as eating llama.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What do you mean?

NewKidInTown:  Getting abducted, eating llama...same result.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...yes, as far as I can see.

NewKidInTown:  So as far as your Sims that have relationships...

NewKidInTown:  They all straight?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No.

NewKidInTown:  So, earthbound misfit, mind if I ask you a personal question?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You can ask.

NewKidInTown:  Are *you* all straight?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess it depends.

NewKidInTown:  On what?

EarthboundMisfitI:  What you mean by that, exactly.

NewKidInTown:  I don't want to scare you off or anything by getting too specific. But I guess what I mean by that is, have you had sex with any men? Or maybe I mean, have you at least thought about it? I'm not sure what makes a person something other than all straight.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not, either.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure, I've thought about it.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  Done anything?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I flirted a little in college.

NewKidInTown:  Flirted? How?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Danced with men, kissed a little.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  So you're open-minded. Obviously.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I like to think so.

NewKidInTown:  Well, if Archer is any indication....

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I don't poison my friends to see what will happen...

EarthboundMisfitI:  And I don't try to nail all of them, either.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  So, are you usually up this late?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, pretty much.

NewKidInTown:  And you still make it into work in the mornings?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Who said I have a day job?

NewKidInTown:  Most people do, I guess. But I shouldn't make that assumption.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do you?

NewKidInTown:  Have a day job?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  No, not really.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So what do you do?

NewKidInTown:  Information Brokerage. Mostly.

NewKidInTown:  You?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm in law enforcement, actually.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yep.

NewKidInTown:  I can dig that.

NewKidInTown:  So, I guess you probably aren't personally woohooing any criminals.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No.

NewKidInTown:  Is it going to be a conflict of interests for you to talk about my Sim relationship, then?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Not yet...

NewKidInTown:  Well, I've looked it up, and my criminal starts as a vandal. And it appears that my law guy is going to look the other way about it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What makes you say that?

NewKidInTown:  Well, they're roommates. They have high stats to start. They actually have a lot in common. They each talk about justice. It seems like, even though they probably have different ideas of justice, it's still a commonality between them, and therefore they're closer than one guy talking about justice and the other talking about art.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Interesting.

NewKidInTown:  Just seems like that's how the game's set up. Being a criminal is just a job. It doesn't mean my criminal doesn't like his law enforcing roommate.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, they don't have to worry about the fact that one roommate is out there undoing everything the other one is working so hard to accomplish.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah, and that can go both ways.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL!

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess it can.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have a twisted way of looking at things.

NewKidInTown:  I guess it could appear that way.

NewKidInTown:  Another interesting thing is that the career tracks for criminals and law enforcement have similarities.

NewKidInTown:  They both need nice bodies, for instance.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Really.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  But a criminal doesn't need logic, just creativity.

NewKidInTown:  And law enforcement, for some reason, needs to know how to clean. Criminal doesn't.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...I'm in trouble, then.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess that's why I'm not on the fasttrack to the top.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  Well, as far as this guide goes, it appears all you really need to make it to the top is friends and a good body.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL!

EarthboundMisfitI:  And cleaning skills.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like I said, I'm in trouble.

NewKidInTown:  Well, how are you in the body department?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I guess you could say, that's probably not what will keep me from climbing the ladder.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

NewKidInTown:  Friends?

EarthboundMisfitI:  That might be an issue.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess in the game of life, I deprioritize my Socialize need bar.

NewKidInTown:  Well, you're Socializing right now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess so. My bar's getting full.

NewKidInTown:  Just don't get me started on recycling.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  Apprently my criminal, my *vandal*, is big into recycling.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Interesting personality quirk.

NewKidInTown:  And my law guy hates the world. Go figure.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hmm.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe he's seen too much.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So your vandal wants to save the world so he can vandalize it?

NewKidInTown:  Seems that way.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And later on, loot it.

NewKidInTown:  It's a strong possiblity. Unless law guy puts a stop to it. Maybe gives him a reason to choose a different career track.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, if he's putting out while he's a criminal, what motivation does he have to change anything?

NewKidInTown:  That's a good point.

EarthboundMisfitI:  If he's greedy, he could steer him toward science. It makes better money.

NewKidInTown:  He is. Greedy.

NewKidInTown:  So, you're saying that law guy should (and could) steer my criminal out of his life of crime with the promise of woohoo and more money?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, it sounds like he's already getting the woohoo, so you'd have to tempt him with what he's most interested in besides that. If that's money...there ya go.

NewKidInTown:  He does have money bags over his head a lot...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Could be his saving grace, then.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And yeah, if it was me, I'd withhold the woohoo until he switched career tracks.

NewKidInTown:  I see. Well. It's something to try, isn't it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But if you're playing both characters, you'll have all the control.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Whereas, if you were playing against someone else, they could refuse your requests for sex until you did what they wanted.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe that PC game is worth looking into.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you *want* someone to refuse your requests for sex?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe it'd be good for me.

NewKidInTown:  My vandal, that is.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Of course.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Thanks, Misfit. I've got a lot to think about now before I Sim again. Gotta go get some sleep now. You gonna be around in the next few days?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Probably, some.

NewKidInTown:  Cool.

NewKidInTown:  Don't let Archer alienate too many potential sex partners with llama now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...I don't know...for him, seeing them puke violently is as much fun as bumping pelvises with them sometimes...

NewKidInTown:  That's sick, man.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, he's kind of an asshole.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  See ya.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Good night, newkid.

---

A few weeks later...

NewKidInTown:  Hey.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey.

NewKidInTown:  You busy?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Not really.

NewKidInTown:  Simming?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, just screwing around.

EarthboundMisfitI:  How's your relationship going?

NewKidInTown:  Haven't had a chance to play in a while.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Me, either. Busy week.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Busy and bad.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah? Sorry to hear that. What happened?

NewKidInTown:  It's pretty complicated.

NewKidInTown:  I guess the short answer is that some colleagues of mine are trying to take me out of business.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That sucks.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  I'm not working today, because if I make a move now it could be the end for me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So what are you doing to do?

NewKidInTown:  I'm not sure yet.

NewKidInTown:  Take them out first?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds a bit cut-throat.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Can you just go in a new direction?

NewKidInTown:  In this business, it's pretty much do or die. The way I see it, it's strike first or get completely out. And I've put in a lot of time and work on this. I don't want to lose it this late in the game. I don't know...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe it's a sign that it's time to change directions, though.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe it's just going to get worse from here on out, and this is your chance to cut and run.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you enjoying yourself anymore?

NewKidInTown:  Enjoying myself?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes. Is it fun, or do you just do it because it's what you know?

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's been my experience that things fall apart as soon as your heart's not in it anymore.

NewKidInTown:  Well, what would you do if you couldn't be in law enforcement anymore? I mean not anything even having to do with it anymore? What choice would you make?

EarthboundMisfitI:  What's that got to do with you? What I want has nothing to do with what you want.

NewKidInTown:  Why not? I'm saying that it's not easy.

NewKidInTown:  I don't even know if it's possible.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I understand. But when your heart's not in it anymore, that's when you start making the kind of mistakes that lead to the end. You self-sabotage, unconsciously, so you can get out and do what you really want to be doing.

NewKidInTown:  You think I did this to myself?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not blaming you, newkid. I'm sorry if it sounded that way. I'm saying it's unconscious, because you're doing something you don't want to be doing anymore. I don't hear anything from you that leads me to believe you enjoy what you do that much. Correct me if I'm wrong. It sounds like you do it because you feel you have to.

NewKidInTown:  This isn't your problem. I'm sorry I bothered you with it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey, are you mad at me?

NewKidInTown:  No.

NewKidInTown:  I'm just...

NewKidInTown:  I do feel I have to.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, sorry if this pisses you off, but you yourself said you can't. Not now, anyway. That at least gives you the chance to think about your options.

NewKidInTown:  My work is important. And nobody's going to turn around and get it done but me. And that's just one reason I'm in it still...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey. I'm not telling you what to do. I only know that people who don't enjoy what they do aren't usually very good at it. So maybe it's not yours to do.

NewKidInTown:  I told you what I do. Information Brokerage. It's not a pretty job. I've done some things that were...unethical...to get the job done. If I quit... This is what I know. I wouldn't know how to do anything else. I wouldn't know how to *be* anything else.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't think you'd even be talking to me about it unless you *wanted* to do something else, though. And I think if you want something bad enough, there's got to be a way to have it.

NewKidInTown:  You're an idealist. I gave that bad habit up years ago.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't think I'm an idealist. But I'm not a quitter when I want something.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But if you don't believe you can have something, you're right. You can't.

NewKidInTown:  Believe, huh?

NewKidInTown:  So you're saying that if I believe I'm a better person, that's all it takes? Well, I can't just walk around smiling and believing it alone. I've done things in my business. I've taken advantage of people's weakness, I've cheated people, I've... Those people aren't going to spontaneously *believe* right along with me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Okay, but you have two choices. You can keep on doing that shit, and make things even worse, or you can make a change, and at least stop the damage, if not reverse it.

NewKidInTown:  As a law enforcement officer, you're telling me this? I mean, if a criminal who had been robbing banks for years suddenly said, "I'm not going to rob banks anymore." You wouldn't say, "Okay, you're off the hook then. Go be a good citizen." You'd still arrest them. Right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And if I had reason to really believe he had changed, I'd do what I could to get him a lighter sentence, help him with plea bargaining, try to make a deal for him...  In the end, he didn't stop for me, anyway. He stopped because he hated himself. And now he doesn't have to, anymore.

NewKidInTown:  You think people can change?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Everyone changes all the time. To stop changing is to die.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Listen. The reality is that people have set behavior patterns. Response patterns. Belief systems. And it's not easy to change those things. But it's possible.

EarthboundMisfitI:  If the motivation is great enough.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And if they have some kind of support.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe I'm waiting for someone to promise me the best sex I've ever had if I quit.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That's all it would take?

NewKidInTown:  I don't know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You don't want sex. You want love.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know if I believe such a thing exists.

EarthboundMisfitI:  A high-priced prostitute can rub you in all the right places, but that's not what you're talking about. You're talking about feeling something you haven't felt before. Making a new kind of connection with another human being. Why would anything else be motivation enough to leave your life behind?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds like that's what missing in your life, period. Love for others. Love for yourself.

NewKidInTown:  That's bullshit! That's not the answer!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey, you were the one who said it might be.

NewKidInTown:  I never said anything about love.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No, you called it sex.

NewKidInTown:  Well, I didn't mean it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What are you talking to me for? It's not sex.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know.

NewKidInTown:  It's not love either! We hardly know each other, and believe me, man, anybody who does know me could never love me. Not in a million. So I sure hope you're wrong about what I need, because that's something I will never have.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I know you didn't come to me looking for love. But you have to admit you came looking for friendship...or at least, you came *back* because of it. And I think we all need love. And I think we can all have it, if we're willing to give it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey, I'll admit, I don't love you. But I like you okay.

NewKidInTown:  But don't you get it? That's because you don't really know me!

EarthboundMisfitI:  All right, you're right. You could be a real asshole. But if you can pretend this well, *this* is in you, too.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sometimes in my job, I go undercover. I have to convince people that I'm someone much darker than I am. My life depends on it. I couldn't do it, though, unless that darkness was already in me somewhere.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But I don't choose to live in that dark place, most of the time. I choose to feed the other side.

EarthboundMisfitI:  There is an old Native American parable. A tribal elder is telling a young boy that everyone has two wolves living inside them, one white and one black. The white wolf thrives on kindness, compassion, generosity, and love, and the black wolf thrives on hate, pain, fear, and greed.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And the wolves vie constantly for control.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The boy asks the elder which one will win.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The elder says, "The one you feed."

NewKidInTown:  What if I've fed the black one for a long time? What if it has an appetite now? What if it has a life of its own? What if it's taken me over? What if it's killed the white wolf? What if my white wolf starved to death before the black one even got at it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't think either one ever dies. And I don't think you'd give a shit about the answer to that question unless the white wolf was still there.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do you? Give a shit about the answer?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Try feeding the white wolf a little.

NewKidInTown:  How.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do something kind. Generous. Compassionate. Give someone a little more of yourself. Try letting your heart lead for once instead of your head.

NewKidInTown:  So...don't be like Archer?

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...definitely don't be like Archer.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess that's an example of what I was saying. My dark side getting out. But I don't enjoy hurting people in my real life.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It feels better to help them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It gives the white wolf an appetite.

NewKidInTown:  But what difference does it make how I *feel*? If what has to be done still has to be done?

EarthboundMisfitI:  It only has to be done if you need what it gets you. What if you could let that go? Let someone else have those spoils? Do you really want them? Have you ever asked that of yourself?

EarthboundMisfitI:  In my job, I've turned my back on activities that would lead to career advancement, prestige, money, etc. in favor of doing what I love. At first, I was afraid to do so, because I'd been focused on being the best, ever since I was a kid. But then I realized that I'm the only one who knows what I *really* want, and it's not those things.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I can live without them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What do you want?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I mean really...in your heart of hearts...

NewKidInTown:  Well, Misfit, if I could find my heart of hearts then I'd let you know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Does anything in your life make you happy? A bright spot, maybe?

NewKidInTown:  I'd really like a long, hot shower. Does that count?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah right.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm serious. That shower could change your life.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  What are you smokin', Misfit?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Long, hot showers are the perfect place to get revelations, newkid.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I do some of my best work in the bathroom. ;-)

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  So you think I need a revelation?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You said you need to find your heart of hearts.

NewKidInTown:  And you think it's in my bottle of Suave?

NewKidInTown:  It's always the last place you look.

EarthboundMisfitI:  :-)  I think once you ask the question, the answer's everywhere, if you only open your eyes.

NewKidInTown:  And get shampoo in them.

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...rinse your hair first. Then open your eyes.

NewKidInTown:  I'll try that, Misfit.

NewKidInTown:  I guess I should thank you before I go shower. Even though I don't especially like what you have to say.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I get that a lot.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Bottom line is, either you're ready for a change or not. But now you know where to start.

NewKidInTown:  I guess so.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And you're not alone.

NewKidInTown:  Thanks. I'll try to believe that.

NewKidInTown:  See you later, M.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Later, New.

NewKidInTown: signed off at 1:31:57 AM.

NewKidInTown: is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

---

Several days later...

NewKidInTown: signed on at 12:11:12 AM.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hey. How's it going?

NewKidInTown:  Weird.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Weird can be good.

NewKidInTown:  I guess.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are things any better?

NewKidInTown:  Define better.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Are you getting answers to your question?

NewKidInTown:  Answers?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, any progress on finding your heart of hearts?

NewKidInTown:  Well, I haven't worked in a week.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What have you been doing?

NewKidInTown:  Drinking, mostly. Smoking. Watching Seinfeld reruns.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Any Suave revelations?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe. Maybe not.

NewKidInTown:  It's easy to debunk them. But then they seem to just come back.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, the next step is to disengage from your old people and environment, and surround yourself with those who can support, rather than sabotage, your changes.

NewKidInTown:  Like Jack Daniels!

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...not exactly.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But I guess, depending on your previous company, it could be a step up...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Is there anyone in your life who would support this change?

NewKidInTown:  You.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No one else?

NewKidInTown:  Well, there's Jose Cuervo, too...

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL

NewKidInTown:  They don't really support so much as...distract. The Jacks and Joses, I mean.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They numb. That's what they do.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No family you might be able to get in touch with? Old friends?

NewKidInTown:  No, there's nobody else.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm sorry.

NewKidInTown:  Hey, it's not your fault.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm still sorry.

NewKidInTown:  I don't want pity.

EarthboundMisfitI:  All right. Well, it sounds like you've taken a big step, for not having any support. I mean, except for me. So...good job.

NewKidInTown:  I don't want platitudes, either.

NewKidInTown:  Or thanks. Whichever.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, well, if your life has been about using and hurting others, and you stopped for a whole week without any support, I mean it. That's not easy.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you've cut off contact with others, except for Jose, Jack, Seinfeld, and me?

NewKidInTown:  And occasionally Pat Sajak.

NewKidInTown:  And the good folks at Suave hair products.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, at least your hair will be bouncy and sweet-smelling through this transition.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  And I haven't committed to any 'transition' you know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sorry.

NewKidInTown:  But I helped an old lady pick up the grocery bag she dropped two days ago.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh yeah?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Something new for you, I take it?

NewKidInTown:  You could say that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, how was it?

NewKidInTown:  She thanked me. A lot. It made me...mad.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That's natural.

NewKidInTown:  It is??

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sure.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's the same as when you told me I didn't know you. You think any time someone sees something good in you, they're seeing a fraud, so they're full of shit.

NewKidInTown:  She called me a 'nice young man.'

NewKidInTown:  She *was* full of shit.

EarthboundMisfitI:  She saw what you showed her, that's all.

NewKidInTown:  You sure do look on the bright side, don't you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm no Pollyanna, believe me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe you being thoughtful like that IS bullshit for now, but if you like it, and you keep it up, it won't be.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It always hurts the first time. ;-)

NewKidInTown:  How would you know?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You think I don't feel like a fraud sometimes? When somebody thinks I'm some kind of hero? They don't know what kind of dark shit I've had to do to create their 'miracle'. They just look at me and see a knight on a white horse. Sometimes it feels like utter shit.

NewKidInTown:  It does?

NewKidInTown:  I mean, you don't get off on it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess I'd be lying if I said it never did anything for me, but most of the time, it just makes me really uncomfortable.

NewKidInTown:  So, do you believe in good and evil? I always thought the law was about believing in good and evil.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess I believe in the white wolf and the black wolf.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The law is more about right and wrong than good and evil. And that's decided by someone else. I just enforce it. Doesn't mean I always believe in it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not a beat cop. I couldn't do that. I only get involved when people are getting seriously hurt.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Even then...well...it's almost never as simple as you'd think.

NewKidInTown:  So you don't see your work as simple? You don't see the criminal as the bad guy, Misfit?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Part of my job is to get inside the heads of the people I pursue. And part of the result of that is that I see myself in every one of them, to some extent.

NewKidInTown:  Yourself in every one of them? Any exceptions to that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I wish the answer was yes, but in all honesty, I have to say no. I can see at least some of myself in every one of them, and some of every one of them in me.

NewKidInTown:  Even the murderers?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And the rapists, and the child molesters, and the terrorists...

EarthboundMisfitI:  I can't always let it get in the way of bringing them down, but it's there.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's my job to stop them from hurting anyone else. And if I was trapped in that kind of darkness, causing that much pain, some part of me would definitely want someone to stop me.

NewKidInTown:  Have you ever let a guilty criminal go?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I've made judgement calls that resulted in a lack of arrest, yes.

NewKidInTown:  Why?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Because in my opinion, an arrest wouldn't serve the best interests of the public.

NewKidInTown:  How could not arresting a criminal be in the best interests of the public? And couldn't you get in big trouble for that, Misfit?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Life isn't black and white. Neither are 'criminals'. Sometimes in order to serve a larger interest, the smaller interest has to be sacrificed. As far as getting into trouble, well, my immediate supervisor trusts me to make those calls.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not saying I always make the right decision. I screw up, just like everybody else. But I do my best to serve the best interests of the public, and I've done it right enough times that I've earned that trust.

NewKidInTown:  So, if I told you that I'd broken the law...you might not necessarily arrest me?

NewKidInTown:  Theoretically.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I have to be careful, here, because legally, I'm obligated to report anything I know of that could hurt another person.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But I don't know who you are.

NewKidInTown:  And I'm not saying I have.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Bottom line is, I'd rather see you stop hurting people on your own than have to be forcibly stopped by me or someone else.

NewKidInTown:  You'd give me that chance?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like I said. I don't know who you are. I don't have any reason to try and find out. I'm not obligated to report you unless you confess something and tell me your identity. And I believe you want to do things differently. And I'd like to see that.

NewKidInTown:  You're too good to be true. Or maybe this is. I mean, no old lady can make me a better person. And what does it matter what you'd like to see?  And even if I do it, what I've done will *always* be there.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And if you do good, that will always be there, too.

NewKidInTown:  How much good would I have to do to finally outweigh the bad? How will I know when that happens?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't think that's the point.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The point is to turn it around and start in the other direction. Any step you take toward that will feel better.  And make things better.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You can't necessarily make it up to every person you've ever hurt, but they sure as hell wouldn't want you to just keep on hurting people because of that!

NewKidInTown:  I gotta go. I'm sorry.

NewKidInTown: signed off at 1:24:51 AM.

NewKidInTown: is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

---

Several days later...

NewKidInTown:  Hi.

NewKidInTown:  Are you there?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Hi. Haven't seen you on.

NewKidInTown:  I know. Sorry.

EarthboundMisfitI:  How are things going?

NewKidInTown:  I wish I knew.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What do you mean?

NewKidInTown:  I mean that...everything lately feels foreign to me. I don't understand what's happening, what I'm feeling, even what I'm doing.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, with what you told me before, that's a good thing.

NewKidInTown:  If you say so.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You want that old world to be foreign...you want to leave it behind...you want something different, right?

NewKidInTown:  That's what I've been trying to figure out. If I really want that or if that's just some unrealistic ideal that you've planted in my head.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Even if it was my idea, you're obviously attracted to it.

NewKidInTown:  You're dangerous, Misfit, you know that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  So I've been told, New.

NewKidInTown:  I'm not used to wanting anything different than what I've been going for for the last several years.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's easy to get tunnel vision, and to just keep chasing after the same thing long after the actual desire for it has faded.

NewKidInTown:  I didn't think desire mattered. Just what needed to be done. I'm still not sure what I think as far as that's concerned.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Okay, so why do you think you have to cheat people?

NewKidInTown:  To get the job done.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You can't get the job done being honest?

NewKidInTown:  Nobody else is honest. I'll lose my edge if I'm the only one who's honest.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds like it's time to get into another field altogether, then, where at least some people *are* honest.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And this edge...

EarthboundMisfitI:  What do you gain with it? Is that something you still want?

NewKidInTown:  If I don't win, somebody worse will.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you're content with just being the lesser of two evils?

NewKidInTown:  I don't know if I'm content. I think I'm...resigned. Or was. No. I was more than resigned. I wanted it. I've always wanted to be on top.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But if the only way you can win is to sell your soul...have you won anything at all?

NewKidInTown:  I don't know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What will being 'on top' get you?

NewKidInTown:  Control.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you don't feel safe, then.

NewKidInTown:  Who could in this world?!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Seems like what you're doing makes you even more unsafe than most, though.

NewKidInTown:  Nobody's safe. They think they are. But they're not. At least I know the dangers out there. I can survive them. I know how.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You're risking your safety now in exchange for some perceived safety in the future, but what if you're never any safer than you are now? What if others, fresher and more treacherous than you, are always trying to steal back what you gained by your own treachery?

NewKidInTown:  I...

NewKidInTown:  I don't know.

NewKidInTown:  That's not how it's supposed to be.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Don't you know anyone who's doing things another way? Who is at least safer than you are?

NewKidInTown:  Doing things another way? Yes. Safer? I'm not sure about that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Spoils gained by treachery are always lost by treachery. When you're the fastest gun in the west, you'll constantly be challenged for the title.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And someone will always come up with a bigger gun, and eventually, a faster draw.

NewKidInTown:  Is this a sexual metaphor?

EarthboundMisfitI:  LOL...

EarthboundMisfitI:  It all comes down to the question of what do you want?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Does this person, who does things another way, do they have what you really want?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Do they have what *they* want?

EarthboundMisfitI:  To at least some extent? Nobody has everything...

NewKidInTown:  I think...they might.

NewKidInTown:  Do you?

NewKidInTown:  Do you have what you want?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, my life's not perfect, and I don't have everything I want by any means, but...yeah, I'm satisfied with my life.

NewKidInTown:  I might have something that this person in my life wants...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Question is, would they be willing to do what you're doing, to get it?

NewKidInTown:  No. They wouldn't.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then maybe they don't really want it, after all, they just think they do.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or maybe there's another way, and if you just stopped banging your head against the old one, you'd find it.

NewKidInTown:  But...what if I want what they have? What can I trade to get it?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sounds like you want to take it from them.

NewKidInTown:  Not necessarily. Not anymore.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe you can both have it.

NewKidInTown:  You mean...work together?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I have no idea about that, I just mean maybe there's enough for both of you.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe I could learn his way of doing things in exchange for what I already have and know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe he wouldn't require anything in trade other than a partnership.

NewKidInTown:  In my business...  He's one of the ones I've cheated.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh.  I see.

NewKidInTown:  So, you understand why I need to bargain. Why even that probably won't work.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, all right. You said he does things on the up and up, right?

NewKidInTown:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then I wouldn't think it would be about what you could give him, it would be about him knowing he could trust you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It wouldn't matter what you could give him, if he thought he couldn't trust you.

NewKidInTown:  He's got no reason to trust me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Has he got a good reason to work with you, if he could trust you?

NewKidInTown:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So there's motivation for him to maybe give you a chance.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  To take a risk.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess you're right, you'll have to be able to come to the table with something that's worth the risk for him.

NewKidInTown:  I think I can do that. I don't know. I hurt him pretty bad. I'm not a good judge of these things.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You hurt him?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  You there?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You'd have to come to him in a position of total surrender, then. Like a dog showing its belly. Make yourself vulnerable. Take a serious risk yourself.

NewKidInTown:  He's in a position...he could really hurt me back. He could make things really, really bad for me. If he wanted.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And you could make things really, really bad for him, it sounds like.

NewKidInTown:  I have.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So if you want him to trust you, you'll have to risk it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Is it worth it?

NewKidInTown:  There's no reason for him to believe I wouldn't still.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The reason would be you making yourself vulnerable. You have to do it in a way that he knows it's real.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know if he'll believe it. Even if it's life and death real for me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, maybe it's like the Sims. You have to start small, warm him up first...

NewKidInTown:  Well, I kind of started that already. I gave him company information a few months ago.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Let me guess, you were setting him up for another scam?

NewKidInTown:  No. I gave him legitimate information.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Why?

NewKidInTown:  The Vice President of my firm went against CEO and committee orders and decided to try to work with him.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So suddenly, instead of cheating him, your boss decided to work with him? And he sent you to start negotiations?

NewKidInTown:  Yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  How did that go?

NewKidInTown:  I think it went as well as it could have.

EarthboundMisfitI:  He seemed open to an alliance?  Your V.P. must have thought he would be, regardless of your previous interactions.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know. He used the information, but he had some hostility toward me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You said he could really, really hurt you though, if he wanted. And I'm assuming he didn't?

NewKidInTown:  No. He didn't.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I'd say he's definitely open to an alliance. That, or he's setting *you* up. But you said he doesn't do that, right?

NewKidInTown:  No. He's not like that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then he's open.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Think about it. He had the chance to hurt you and didn't. What more do you want?

NewKidInTown:  I've been wanting to go back. But the V.P. got fired, and I don't have any support for that. Plus, I wasn't sure if he'd be open again. I guess I don't know what I want. He doesn't owe me anything.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But *he* wants an alliance. That's obvious.

NewKidInTown:  It is???

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes! Like I said, either he wants the alliance or he's setting you up, since he didn't hurt you when he had the chance.

NewKidInTown:  Even if you're right and he *does* want an alliance. That doesn't mean he'd ever believe that *I* want one!

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, one thing's for sure. If the people above the V.P. want to keep cheating him and you don't, you're going to have to go out on your own.

NewKidInTown:  Well, I have to, now. I have. They're the ones that have made it too dangerous for me to do business right now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I see. Possibly because of your alliance with the ex-V.P.?

NewKidInTown:  Possibly.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So it's not even a choice, anymore.  You already made the choice when you followed the V.P.'s orders and reached out to their enemy.  And he made *his* choice by not hurting you when he had the chance.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Like I said, it's that or he's setting you up, and you said he's absolutely not.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Seems clear to me.

NewKidInTown:  I hope you're right.

NewKidInTown:  If you're not, I'm about to make one shitass huge mistake.

NewKidInTown:  All right then.

NewKidInTown:  I'm making my move

NewKidInTown:  Mulder, this is Alex Krycek.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know why I got on here in the first place. Maybe just to fuck with you. I'm not sure.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe I liked the idea of talking to you. Of you not knowing it was me.

NewKidInTown:  I was curious what you would say. I wasn't trying to hurt you, but I wasn't trying to ally with you, either.

NewKidInTown:  I never intended to talk. To really talk. About anything. I think at most, I wanted to see if you might be bisexual.

NewKidInTown:  I guess I thought I'd cut out after I got my answer.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And show up to fuck me a whole new way?

NewKidInTown:  I never really intended to try that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Then why did you even want to know?

NewKidInTown:  It was like an itch. Ever since I kissed you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Wondering if you could have taken more?

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, now you know.

NewKidInTown:  I don't think I know anything.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I answered all your questions. I told you the truth.

NewKidInTown:  You didn't know you were talking to me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I still told the truth.

NewKidInTown:  The truth changes around me. Doesn't it?

NewKidInTown:  I mean, come on! You'd never ally with me!

EarthboundMisfitI:  If you believe that, why the fuck did you show up at my apartment?

NewKidInTown:  To give you the intel.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You knew I wouldn't hurt you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And you know what I mean. *REALLY* hurt you. Like I could. Can.

NewKidInTown:  I didn't know. I took a risk.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You asshole! You wouldn't have shown up at all unless you knew what I wanted. It would have been a goddamned waste of time, and a one-way ticket to prison.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Just like last time! Flushing!  Sending me the receipts to get me to buy into your schemes with the black rock.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You wouldn't have done that if you hadn't known! Don't tell me you didn't know, Krycek. You BANKED on it, you prick.

NewKidInTown:  I know that a day will come, would have come, if I had kept selling you out, that you would have done it. You would have finally done it. But you're right. I banked on it not being that night.

NewKidInTown:  And I didn't sell you out. For the first time.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Because someone else told you not to.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And for some reason, it wasn't in your best interests to do so.

NewKidInTown:  No, it wasn't.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So let's not kid ourselves that you were trying to strike up a real alliance, Krycek.

NewKidInTown:  No, I wasn't! I wasn't.

EarthboundMisfitI:  What were you doing?

NewKidInTown:  I was following orders.

NewKidInTown:  Until I kissed you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And then what were you doing?

NewKidInTown:  Giving in.

NewKidInTown:  And then the old man died helping you, and I know if I do what he did, play both sides, that they'll get me, too. So I have to choose. Am choosing.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Am choosing?

NewKidInTown:  Chose!

NewKidInTown:  Today!

NewKidInTown:  I had three choices. Well, I thought I had two:

NewKidInTown:  One) Choose the syndicate. Two) Go it on my own and try to effect some kind of takeover.

NewKidInTown:  Then they put out a hit on me, and choice number one wasn't a choice anymore.

NewKidInTown:  So then I thought I had the one choice.

NewKidInTown:  But I came on here...

NewKidInTown:  And you and your goddamned white wolf...!

NewKidInTown:  And you have me wishing there was another choice.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They killed him because he gave me the vaccine. And information on how to find Scully. Do you think they put the hit out on you because they know you gave me the Weikamp intel?

NewKidInTown:  I'm not sure yet.

NewKidInTown:  I think that has to be why.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Because you've never given them any other reason, Krycek?

NewKidInTown:  Of course I have, but they've always counted on me finally coming to heel.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Because they have what you want.

NewKidInTown:  What I used to want. Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  But I think they understood, even before I did, the potential danger of you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you're saying that even *they* knew what I really wanted.

NewKidInTown:  No. They knew what you could do to me.

NewKidInTown:  I blew my cover as your partner early.

NewKidInTown:  I left those stinking cigarette butts in my car.

NewKidInTown:  I was trained better than that, Mulder.

NewKidInTown:  It's ironic that getting away from you helped. That distance. I could do my job again.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You mean it was easier to hurt me if you didn't have to see it up close and personal.

NewKidInTown:  Yes. Of course it was.

NewKidInTown:  In fact, I didn't think I was hurting you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh come on! You didn't think killing my father would HURT me??

NewKidInTown:  I didn't see it that way. It wasn't personal. I was doing my job.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or how about trying to kill Scully! That wasn't going to hurt me?

NewKidInTown:  I know it now. I understand now.

EarthboundMisfitI: And I guess getting left in a gulag wasn't supposed to hurt me, either, then.

NewKidInTown:  You're a psychologist. You've heard of the cases. That one where they're doing an experiment to see how many people will deliver a 450 volt shock to another experiment participant.

NewKidInTown:  Do you know how many people they *thought* would deliver the shock?

NewKidInTown:  One tenth of one percent.

NewKidInTown:  Do you know how many did?

NewKidInTown:  Sixty-five percent.

NewKidInTown:  And why?

NewKidInTown:  Not because they were sadists.

NewKidInTown:  Not because it was personal.

NewKidInTown:  They were ordered to.

NewKidInTown:  That's all.

NewKidInTown:  And no I wasn't ordered to leave you in the gulag...

NewKidInTown:  But I had been trained to.

NewKidInTown:  And even still, I wanted to get you out.

NewKidInTown:  I thought maybe I could get you out, too.

NewKidInTown:  But I'll be honest with you. I wasn't going to die trying.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I wouldn't have expected that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess...I got what I expected.

EarthboundMisfitI:  There are studies on that, too. People living up to expectations, high or low.

NewKidInTown:  I'm frankly afraid for you to expect more of me.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That makes two of us.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So.

NewKidInTown:  So.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Have you played any Sims during the time you've been spending with Jose, Jack, Jerry, and Pat?

NewKidInTown:  LOL...uh...

NewKidInTown:  Some.

NewKidInTown:  You?

EarthboundMisfitI:  A little.

NewKidInTown:  How's Archer doing?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I didn't play him.

NewKidInTown:  Oh.

EarthboundMisfitI:  How are yours doing?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Get to first base, yet?

NewKidInTown:  Yes. They're doing better than they really should be.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Sometimes it's like that.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe it's the recycling.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe my law man sees that one bright spot...

NewKidInTown:  Sees the good in him. Wanting out.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Maybe he does.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I forgot to tell you...

EarthboundMisfitI:  You have to buy a double bed.

NewKidInTown:  For...woohoo?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes. They can't woohoo without it.

NewKidInTown:  I see.

NewKidInTown:  I'll do that.

NewKidInTown:  I'll do whatever it takes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  They still have to get to 100 as friends first.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or at least...around...85, I think.

NewKidInTown:  Okay.

NewKidInTown:  So that's a lot of talking, right?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Right.

NewKidInTown:  Some shared meals?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Some jokes...

NewKidInTown:  I'd like to do that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No aphrodisiacs.

NewKidInTown:  Okay.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And I wouldn't recommend breaking out the kicky bag.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Or the sock puppet.

NewKidInTown:  LOL!

NewKidInTown:  I wouldn't think of it.

EarthboundMisfitI:  The vacuum cleaner trick usually goes over well, though...

NewKidInTown:  I'll take note of that...

NewKidInTown:  So.

NewKidInTown:  Do you have two controllers? By any chance?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'm not ready to just...Sim with you, yet, Krycek. 

EarthboundMisfitI: That's at about...20 points.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. Okay.

NewKidInTown:  Since we've been in the negative...

NewKidInTown:  Do you think we're at least at zero now or...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, anything below that would be enemies.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So yeah. I guess that puts us at zero.

NewKidInTown:  So what now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So...you like the Eagles?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  Do you?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah, I do.

NewKidInTown:  You like Pink Floyd?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, particularly A Momentary Lapse of Reason.

NewKidInTown:  Is that the one with Dogs of War?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  Do you like that song?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess I identify with its reality, yes.

EarthboundMisfitI:  My favorite's Learning to Fly, though.

NewKidInTown:  I, uh...don't know a lot about PF.

EarthboundMisfitI:  "A soul in tension that's learning to fly...Condition grounded but determined to try...Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies...Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I"

NewKidInTown:  I only really recognized that last part.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, that's something, anyway.

NewKidInTown:  Is this how we get talking points?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes, Alex.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So, what did you name your law man Sim?

NewKidInTown:  Wolf.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Last name White?

NewKidInTown:  No, actually, I named him before that discussion.

NewKidInTown:  You know...

NewKidInTown:  Like Fox?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh.

NewKidInTown:  Wolf...Fox...

EarthboundMisfitI:  Why didn't you just use Fox, then?

NewKidInTown:  I don't know.

NewKidInTown:  Too much.

NewKidInTown:  Maybe.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  The other one's still Alex, though.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And they're headed for the bedroom at breakneck speed?

NewKidInTown:  Uh, no.

NewKidInTown:  I'll stop playing them now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Why?

NewKidInTown:  Why? It's too... I don't know. It's like a pressure neither one of us needs, I guess.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I appreciate that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  You do move kind of fast.

NewKidInTown:  Sorry about that.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't mind it.

NewKidInTown:  You don't?

EarthboundMisfitI:  No.

NewKidInTown:  I guess I don't have an appreciation for obstacles.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I didn't even know you were attracted to me. It's easier for me to be the one to slow you down than it is to try and guess what the fuck you're thinking...

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. Now you know.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I think so, anyway.

NewKidInTown:  I don't know what you want either, Mulder.

EarthboundMisfitI:  That kinda makes two of us.

EarthboundMisfitI:  So you haven't done any work at all over the past couple of weeks?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah. That's right.

EarthboundMisfitI:  We should probably find a secure location and talk.

NewKidInTown:  Do you have a place in mind?

EarthboundMisfitI:  You'd know, better than I, where you'd be safe from 'them'.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I guess...where you're at, huh?

NewKidInTown:  I just didn't expect you to trust me not to lead you into some kind of trap at a place of my choosing.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I appreciate that.

NewKidInTown:  Do you...want to come over?

EarthboundMisfitI:  If you're ready enough to do this to tell me where you're at.

NewKidInTown:  I want to be.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  I can send you the location secure.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Okay.

NewKidInTown:  I sent it to the email account you use with your Lone Gunman friends. I know about it. Syndicate doesn't. I promise.

NewKidInTown:  And I'm sorry.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I see.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'll check.

NewKidInTown:  Okay.

EarthboundMisfitI:  It's there.

NewKidInTown:  Think you can find that?

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  When are you coming?

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'll leave in about an hour. That should tell you when to expect me. If I don't show within a reasonable time, I was followed and doubled back.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  If they put a hit on you because you came to me, they may be watching me.

NewKidInTown:  It's good that there are a couple months between my last visit to you and now.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Yes.

NewKidInTown:  They probably think that by killing the old man, that severs any tie I might have to you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I don't want to lead them right to you.

EarthboundMisfitI:  But we can't let them win, either.

EarthboundMisfitI:  I'll be careful.

NewKidInTown:  I know.

NewKidInTown:  You know what you're doing.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Thank you.

NewKidInTown:  Well, you know...

NewKidInTown:  You weren't the only one needing to get his head out of the sand.

EarthboundMisfitI:  No.

NewKidInTown:  I've screwed up.

NewKidInTown:  I need your help.

NewKidInTown:  And I can help you.

NewKidInTown:  I have to.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Have to?

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

NewKidInTown:  If I'm going to do more than just survive until one of them finally takes me out.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Oh. Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Well, I'll leave in an hour. You know when to expect me.

NewKidInTown:  Yeah.

EarthboundMisfitI:  Keep an eye out for anything.

EarthboundMisfitI:  And put on some fruity bread.

NewKidInTown:  I'll try not to burn the place down.

EarthboundMisfitI: signed off at 1:43:20 AM. 

END...Beginning?

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