Finite Gold
by Satina and Shannon
Date of first posting: 3/5/05
Rating: R * Pairing: M/K
Archive Permissions: Freely given, but please use HTML format to preserve the IM quality.
Disclaimers: Mulder and Krycek are not my characters. They belong to Fox and Chris Carter.
Warnings: Generous use of the "F" word.
Summary:
This takes place directly following the events of The End. Krycek contacts Mulder to offer solace.
Feedback Welcomed HERE.
Return to The M/K Shrine
salve4burns: Heard what happened.
believer61x: yeah?
salve4burns: Did he leave a butt? If he did, at least you could get him on arson.
believer61x: Yeah, I'm sure that would work.
salve4burns: I could help with that.
salve4burns: Maybe he left something...else.
salve4burns: But that's hardly what you want. Is it? You don't want him. You want it all back.
believer61x: All right, let me get this over with. Who are you?
salve4burns: You don't know yet, tovarisch?
believer61x: Yeah, I know. I just wondered if you were too much of a coward to 'come out' to me.
salve4burns: A murderer, a liar, a coward? Two out of three ain't bad.
salve4burns: Did you think I wouldn't remember?
believer61x: No, I just didn't care.
salve4burns: So how are you tonight, Mulder?
believer61x: Burned.
salve4burns: Mmm, I heard. Hurt?
believer61x: What do you want?
salve4burns: I want to help you.
salve4burns: Do you? Hurt?
believer61x: You wanna get off on my pain, Alex?
salve4burns: That's not why I'm here. I just wanna know if it hurts. Or if you're already numb.
believer61x: Why the FUCK do you CARE?????
salve4burns: Maybe I don't. Maybe what I 'get off on' is you venting on me. Don't you want to? Give it to me?
believer61x: I notice you're not showing up on my doorstep.
salve4burns: Maybe I'm just after the words, not the fists.
believer61x: Or the gun?
salve4burns: You'd go that far, Mulder? Just for me?
believer61x: Murder? Right now? Don't ask.
salve4burns: Fair enough. Good thing I went with the IM then, huh?
salve4burns: So, what are you going to do about it?
believer61x: Depends. Did you have something to do with this?
salve4burns: Why the hell would I torch your office?
salve4burns: Don't answer that...
salve4burns: Look. I didn't do this. You *know* who did this. You also know I'm not working for him. What you may not know is that I haven't been for a long time. You may not believe me. That's fine. As long as you believe that this was *not* my work. If I was gonna take out your office, I'd've used a bomb.
believer61x: What a comfort.
salve4burns: I have no interest in destroying your work. I'd think that would be pretty clear after my last visit.
believer61x: No, just using me and then leaving me for whatever vultures choose to pick my brain.
salve4burns: Do you think it would serve any purpose of mine to give you intel just to see it ripped from your head? You think that was the evil plan or something?
believer61x: How the fuck do I know?
salve4burns: Do you think I'd waste my time...the time this planet has left...to fuck with your *head*?
believer61x: I don't know.
salve4burns: Well, I wouldn't. I didn't. Take it or leave it, it's the truth.
believer61x: You want to help me?
salve4burns: That's what I'm saying.
believer61x: Tell me who's on the inside that's been sabotaging me.
salve4burns: What makes you think he'd *need* an insider to do what he did?
believer61x: Someone's been stealing my work. Before this.
believer61x: Using me, and sabotaging me from within the system.
believer61x: Thought maybe you'd know something about that, Agent Krycek.
salve4burns: There's not another operative in the Bureau right now. No one like me...who I was.
believer61x: So it's just someone who hates me, then. Joy.
salve4burns: I didn't say that. They could have an outside contractor. Someone not on the 'payroll'...someone new or relatively new. Someone I wouldn't necessarily know.
believer61x: So look into it.
salve4burns: You're going to *dictate* how I help you?
salve4burns: Do you register at Armani for Christmas?
believer61x: What???
salve4burns: Do you tell everyone what to give you? Can't I just give my very special gift from the bottom of my blackened heart?
believer61x: Bite me.
salve4burns: So you want me to infiltrate the FBI for you? You want me to hack the mainframe...something like that? Isn't that...coloring outside the lines, Agent Mulder?
believer61x: I'm fucking sick and tired of the lines.
salve4burns: Especially when they use the lines to screw you over?
believer61x: I'm the only fucking one inside the lines. And I'm sick and fucking tired of bending over so they can ram the lines up my ass.
salve4burns: So you do...hurt.
believer61x: Yes, I hurt! I fucking HURT! Does that make your fucking night??? Does that make your life worthwhile, now, to know I'm hurting???
salve4burns: No.
salve4burns: I just wanna know where to apply the salve.
salve4burns: You want me to find this guy, Mulder? No problem. Just show me where it hurts.
believer61x: I watch everything I say. I watch everything I do. I play by the rules every fucking day, and all I get is SHIT. All I get is FUCKED.
believer61x: They ask for my help to my face, then talk about me behind my back. They take my work and bitchslap me for my troubles.
believer61x: Do you know how many agents I've helped, here? How many cases I've added my input to, only to hear that those very fucking agents are out spreading SHIT about me and even sabotaging my cases???
believer61x: FUCK THEM!
salve4burns: So, screw the basement, blow up the whole goddamned FBI?
believer61x: Don't be stupid.
salve4burns: You're not asking for a hit. Are you, Mulder?
believer61x: You'd do that?
believer61x: Well???
salve4burns: If I say yes, you'll condemn me for it. If I say no, I'm not really helping you. Right?
believer61x: Just answer the question.
salve4burns: Yes. I would. Is that what you want?
believer61x: No.
salve4burns: You just wanna know who it is so you can do it yourself? How deep in this dark are you, Mulder?
believer61x: I'm tired.
salve4burns: It's late.
believer61x: No, you moron. I'm TIRED.
salve4burns: I know what you meant.
salve4burns: Are you burned? Literally?
believer61x: Of course.
salve4burns: Are the burns bandaged? How bad are they?
believer61x: No.
believer61x: And they suck.
salve4burns: Why aren't they bandaged? It's just going to keep hurting. Over and over again.
believer61x: Maybe I prefer dealing with the physical pain.
salve4burns: Maybe there's no difference.
believer61x: What?
salve4burns: Fucking bandage yourself. Burning yourself over and over again isn't going to make what they did feel better.
believer61x: I'm not burning myself. THEY fucking burned me.
salve4burns: Doesn't it feel like a burn? When you touch something with the wound. Like it happens again. Like they burn you again. Don't let them burn you again, Mulder.
believer61x: I don't fucking intend to.
salve4burns: I'll find your guy.
believer61x: Guy??? It's the whole fucking place!
salve4burns: Are you about to quit the Bureau? Be still my heart...
believer61x: What do you care?
salve4burns: You think I don't care of you can't arrest my ass anymore?
salve4burns: You think I don't care if you don't carry that badge like it's a nugget of gold?
believer61x: Don't you mean shield? Like it can protect me from the big, bad world?
believer61x: Get me in all the right doors?
salve4burns: No, like gold, like it's more valuable than whoever you are behind it...and what you can still do without it.
believer61x: Whatever. Why are you kissing my ass so hungrily, Krycek?
salve4burns: You think I'm kissing your ass? You know there's something in it for me, Mulder. You know I'm so *not* altruistic.
believer61x: What's in it for you?
salve4burns: I get to be the good guy.
believer61x: LOL...yeah, look what THAT gets ya.
salve4burns: Well, not *too* good.
salve4burns: You're too good. Too goddamned good. It's gonna get you killed.
believer61x: Probably.
salve4burns: Yet you can't be bad. Not in you. Not really. So you gotta make a choice. How good do you wanna be? And to who? Humanity needs you, Mulder. Those fucks at the FBI...don't give them anything of you anymore. Don't give them the gold. You're gonna need that for someone else someday.
believer61x: You're starting to make sense, boy.
salve4burns: I hurt people, Mulder. You don't. Don't do that to yourself.
believer61x: Shit, Krycek, what do you CARE?
salve4burns: Because if you fall, there's fucking nobody left. Who's gonna work the surface, the light...me? Is that who? Who the hell is gonna take up after you? The Gunmen? Scully? You really believe there's another?
believer61x: No, not after tonight.
believer61x: How fucking ALONE do I have to be??? This isn't fucking fair!
salve4burns: Last I checked you weren't talking to yourself here.
believer61x: So I've got you.
salve4burns: Don't sound so excited.
believer61x: Do I? Do I really? Because I've thought that before, Krycek. A few times, actually. I'm kinda sick of this game.
salve4burns: I know. You weren't supposed to get mind-wiped, Mulder. You were just supposed to see him. See the rebel and set him free. Help the resistance and see it to believe it. The last thing I wanted was for that second thing to go to shit. I'm here trying. Again.
believer61x: Every time things get really interesting, here you are.
salve4burns: I felt sure I'd get a 'Do or do not. There is no try,' for that one. I'm here, yeah. And maybe I see the biggest opportunities in the biggest shit-bombs like tonight was for you. Maybe I see the gold under the soot. Maybe being in the thick of it is what I do best. Maybe I think it's what you do, too.
believer61x: Oh, so now you're my cheerleader?
salve4burns: Fuck that. If you don't think I'm tight end to your quarterback, you're playing a different game all together.
believer61x: Just which team do you play on, Krycek?
salve4burns: The one with the ball, first and goal.
believer61x: Ha. In case you can't tell, THEY took my ball and went home.
salve4burns: What if I could intercept?
believer61x: Okay, Krycek. Get in there and get my files back.
salve4burns: The ones he burned or the ones he stole?
salve4burns: Did you know he stole some?
believer61x: No.
salve4burns: It's just a hunch, but I'm pretty fucking sure I'll be right.
believer61x: I need more than hunches.
salve4burns: My hunches always lead to 'more than hunches', Mulder. Don't yours?
believer61x: Show me something.
salve4burns: 'sgonna take a couple of days.
salve4burns: Which do you want worse: the files Spender nabbed or the guy on the inside?
salve4burns: Mulder?
believer61x: Files.
salve4burns: Two days. Deal?
believer61x: Deal? You haven't even set your price.
salve4burns: Take care of those burns.
believer61x: Krycek, who are you?
believer61x: Hello?
salve4burns: Just do it. Salve and bandages. Change them when they're wet.
believer61x: Not until you answer my question.
salve4burns: What do you want, an essay?
believer61x: No, just the Cliff Notes.
salve4burns: I'm someone who can help you.
believer61x: Oh no you don't. Not good enough.
salve4burns: I'm someone who believes in you.
salve4burns: Mulder?
believer61x: Then why'd you walk out on me?
salve4burns: That was a long time ago. I believed in something else.
believer61x: And now you've decided to believe in me.
salve4burns: Decided? Now I have proof. I had proof a long time ago. I just didn't have my head out of my ass until...recently.
believer61x: How recently?
salve4burns: Sometime during my stay in a Russian hospice. After the fever delirium. Before the blood stopped soaking through the bandage.
believer61x: That DIDN'T have to happen, dammit.
salve4burns: Yes. It did.
believer61x: You left me. You walked out on me. You turned your back on me and murmured some cocky Russian phrase as you walked out on me. I wanted out, too, dammit, but I would NEVER have sold you out to do it!
salve4burns: I know you wouldn't have. Do you think I knew that then? Don't you think I'd change things? If I could? Don't think for a minute that this stump isn't a constant reminder of everything I did wrong.
believer61x: You didn't know it then? You honestly thought I'd sell you out to get out of there?
salve4burns: What the hell was I to you that you wouldn't have? At least, that's how I thought about it. Now I know why you wouldn't have and it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with you. You're too good a man to do that to anyone, including me.
believer61x: Why did you have to make it so fucking hard on both of us, Krycek?
salve4burns: Why did you?
believer61x: Me???
salve4burns: You? Oh, you didn't make it hard? You didn't rough me up at every turn and threaten to leave me in long-term parking or leave me with your boss to get beat up some more and cuffed to a balcony in 40 degree weather... You made it a freaking holiday!
believer61x: I guess I thought I couldn't play fair with you.
believer61x: That it would only get me hurt worse.
believer61x: That if I hurt you first, whatever you ended up doing to me was already square, and I didn't have to end up kicking myself for playing nice.
believer61x: Like I am tonight.
believer61x: Only it's not you I've been playing nice with.
believer61x: And it's not you that's been fucking me over for it.
believer61x: Fuck.
believer61x: I guess the least I can do is try it with you.
believer61x: For once.
believer61x: Are you even there???
salve4burns: I'm here.
believer61x: So...where does that leave us?
salve4burns: One arm, no files... I think it leaves us ready to take back what they stole from us.
believer61x: All right.
believer61x: So, what do you want from me?
believer61x: Scratch that.
believer61x: What do you need from me?
salve4burns: A chance?
believer61x: Okay, you've got it.
salve4burns: All right. Bandage your fucking hands.
believer61x: LOL...all right.
salve4burns: Do you have salve?
believer61x: I don't know.
salve4burns: Go check.
believer61x: Okay, no, I don't think so. I have butter...
salve4burns: DON'T!
salve4burns: It's not good...just don't do it, all right?
believer61x: Geez, Krycek, all right already.
salve4burns: You don't have anything else? Aloe or lavender oil or...anything?
believer61x: My Avon lady didn't come this week. Who the hell are you, anyway, Krycek?
salve4burns: I ain't your damned Avon lady.
believer61x: Well, shit. I really wanted to sample that new shade of lipstick.
salve4burns: I don't have that. I have salve. Good salve, Mulder.
believer61x: I guess you would.
salve4burns: You can have it.
believer61x: What do you mean?
salve4burns: I'll bring it to you. Tonight. It's what I need. I need to give you something that will really help. Something you need. Something to heal things rather than hurt them.
salve4burns: Mulder?
believer61x: Okay.
salve4burns: Really?
believer61x: Yeah. You seem to have what I need. So bring it on over.
salve4burns: Now?
believer61x: Well, now IS when I need it, Krycek.
salve4burns: Yeah. I know. I just... Thought I'd have to... Nevermind. I'll be there soon. I'll, uh, knock.
believer61x: Thought you'd have to what?
salve4burns: Convince you the world would end if I didn't bring this salve over tonight.
believer61x: Would it?
salve4burns: Yes. Most definitely.
believer61x: Well then. You'd better get over here.
salve4burns: Guess so. Sit tight.
believer61x: Hurry, I'm reaching for the butter now....
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